The sudden change
by zulija
Summary: Sebastian walkes away from Hawke after their one night stand. They both still love each other but they are too stubborn to admit it. What they don't know is that their one night together will change their lives forever. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

Hawke was pacing through her kitchen, the nervousness clearly visible to all of her servants though no one dared to ask her about the reason for her behavior. She was extremely nervous and she didn´t knew why she agreed to it in the first place, she had other worries but she couldn´t ignore her desires forever.

And now, in the middle of the night, she was awaiting someone who made her heart flutter every time she heard his voice or saw him fighting. She never was the sort of woman who could easily show her feelings to the world, she was a rather cautious woman when it came to talking about such things. For her companions, she was always the strong and capable Hawke, the Hawke that had no problem in slicing someone´s throat or helping her friends out of their troubles. But now, well, she guessed that her courage and bravery wouldn´t help her. She was lost in her thoughts so she hadn´t heard Bodahn entering the kitchen and calling her name several times.

"Mistress Hawke, you have a visitor. He says you are expecting him?" He grinned at her, clearly showing Hawke that it is very impolite for him to be at a ladies house at that hour. Hawke stopped and her body froze, there is no turning back now...

"It´s okay Bodahn, we have something to discuss." Bodahn eyed her before he left the kitchen; she stood there unable to move as she waited for him to enter the kitchen. Then Bodahn came and held the door open, and her heart skipped a beat as she saw him entering the kitchen in nothing else then a white linen shirt and dark brown breeches, and she had a hard time to look away from him because this was the first time she saw him without his usual armor.

He stopped and stared at her from the doorway, his intense eyes making her body set ablaze, Bodahn stood between them and eyed them angrily, inspecting and watching him so he doesn´t do any wrong moves. Hawke took her gaze away from him as she looked at Bodahn who was clearly annoyed now.

"It´s okay Bodahn, you can leave us alone..." Bodahn bowed to Hawke and eyed him angrily before he left, closing the door behind him. He stopped by the door and shook his head as he hoped that his mistress would keep a clear head around him, he knew she felt something for him and he even dared to think that he might have feelings for her too, but he had other worries and dedications right now. He slowly made his way back to his room where Sandal waited for him, eager for another story from Bodahn.

####

Hawke stood there, immobilized by his intense gaze and beautiful face. She walked to the small table near the fireplace and sat down on one of the chairs before she took her cup and sipped her tea, hoping that the hot tea would lower her heartbeat and her nervousness.

He watched her movements closely before he closed the distance between them and sat down next to her, his eyes never leaving her face. She avoided his intense gaze and she stared at her cup on the table, she swallowed hard to clear her throat as she found the strength to speak.

"You really came?" She heard him readjust on the chair as he leaned his forearms on his knees, his head lowered and staring at the floor.

"Well, we have some things to discuss, right?" He answered flatly to her and her heart almost exploded as he lifted his head and gazed deep into her eyes. She looked away and took another sip from her hot tea, and she forgot just how hot the tea was as she dropped the cup and it fell on the floor, she touched her burning lips as she hissed from the sudden pain. Sebastian took the handkerchief that was on the table and dipped it in his glass of water before he placed the wet handkerchief on her burning lips, her body temperature rose as she felt him touching her face.

"Easy Hawke, don´t burn your lips." He watched her face as she looked into his piercing blue eyes, her mouth slightly open as he caressed her lips with the wet handkerchief, the burning feeling slowly leaving her face. He studied her face as he caressed her lips before he turned his head away from her to put the handkerchief back on the table, he looked back at her and stood still as her eyes looked into his.

"Better?" He asked her, his voice low and husky and it send goose bumps all over her body. She just managed to nod, she didn´t find the ability to talk as his eyes gazed deep into hers. They stood like this, none of them wanting to break the eye contact or to step away. Her eyes fell to his mouth as she slowly dared to lift her hands to his chest, touching the soft material she felt his heat going through the soft shirt. She blinked a few times as her eyes fell to her hands on his chest, his breathing was deep and even as she slowly started to move her hands across his chest, feeling his strong and defined chest under her touch made her shiver.

He stood still as he watched her face, he hardly admit it to himself that he relished her touches, that he loved the way she touched him although he was forbidden to feel that way. She lifted her eyes only to meet his and her heart skipped a beat as she realized just how close they really were to each other, and somehow she knew that this was the closest she would ever get to him. Without thinking, she prompted up on her toes and brought her face towards his as their lips finally met. She had to do it, she just couldn´t let him walk away from her after they were so close to each other. She was surprised though as she felt him taking her hands in his and bringing her even closer to him causing a moan to escape her.

They stood like this for a while, their lips pressed together, suddenly she felt his tongue licking her lower lip, and she opened her mouth only to let his tongue glide through her mouth. They kissed each other passionately as he brought his hands up to cup her face, his warmth radiating to her face as their kiss grew deeper, then his hands left her face to grab her hips. She placed her hands around his neck as she felt his hands touching and grabbing her arse, and she gasped as she felt his strong hands lifting her in the air a little. Suddenly the desire she felt for him became even stronger then she felt before and she broke the kiss to find out what this means to him exactly.

"Sebastian..."

"Hush and lead us to your bedroom." Her eyes widened as his hooded eyes stared at her face. She was unsure about what to do, she was scared to make this decision because she was afraid to lose him, even as a friend. He saw her hesitation and he smiled at her as he touched her face with his palm.

"Are you sure?" He just nodded to her and that was enough for her to take his hand and lead him out of the kitchen, she looked at him over her shoulder from time to time as if to make sure he was willing to follow her, and she was surprised when all she saw in his face was lust and desire.

They entered her bedroom and he closed the door behind him before he took a closer look at her bedroom, it was the first time he entered her private chambers. She walked backwards towards her bed as she stared at him with lustful eyes, slowly opening the laces of her dress as he stared at her. The laces were undone now but she didn´t undress herself, instead she waited for him to come to her. He slowly closed the distance between them, he felt like he was dreaming yet he knew it was real. He wanted to take her, to show her just how much he felt for her, if only for one night. He pushed her dress down her shoulders a little so he could trap her hands with the dress as he started to kiss her shoulders. She moaned as she felt his hot lips on her skin, biting every once in a while as he made his way down her shoulders towards her breasts. She threw her head back as he removed the breast band, her wonderful shaped breasts falling out to him as he took one in his palm, slowly massaging it as his mouth slanted over the other. She gasped as she felt his skilled tongue licking her peaks and she wondered how it would feel in other places.

"Sebastian..." He leaned his face close to hers as he removed her dress completely leaving her only in her underwear. He took in the sight of her, his already hard and aching member pulsing with want and arousal.

He took a backwards step as he removed his shirt and she feared that her eyes would pop out of her head as she saw his gloriously nude chest. Maker but it looked better then anything she ever imagined, or saw before. He couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face as he saw her staring at him,_ wait til you see the rest,_ he thought to himself as he slowly started to unbuckle his belt. Her eyes fell down to his hands watching his work closely until the belt landed on the floor. Her eyes found his again as his hands started to remove his breeches, his eyes filled with unspoken wishes and desires. She was so hot and wet as she slowly lowered herself on the bed before she removed her underwear, leaving her completely naked now.

He watched her as his breeches fell to the floor, slowly taking foot by foot out of the pile of his breeches before he slowly walked towards her. One finger was in her mouth and she sucked it in, gently, and soon he imagined her sucking something else into that beautiful mouth of hers. She sat there and watched him, her finger slowly gliding in and out as he stopped before her, her head leveled with his hidden manhood. She brought up her hands to his thighs and she looked up to him, his hooded eyes looking at her as her hands came to touch his cock through the underwear.

He managed to hide his smirk as her eyes widened a little when she touched him, her touch making him even more aroused. She gently grabbed his underwear and pushed it down his strong and defined legs, when she lifted her head again she could see his hard and pulsing cock right in front of her face. She leveled her eyes with his for a moment before she spat on her palm and rubbing the saliva through her hand before she grabbed his big and hard cock. He shivered at the feeling of her touching him, he hadn't felt like this for a long time now and he couldn't help but close his eyes and throw his head back as he felt her hand stroking him in steady moves. She smirked as she saw his reaction and she sped up to increase the pleasure. He lowered his head to look down on her as his hand found it's way to her hair, her soft blonde hair smelling like roses.

They never broke the eye contact as her tongue licked the underside of his cock, and he almost lost himself in the pleasure, his hand ranking with her hair. She did the same thing again and he groaned, the ache he felt in his manhood suddenly unbearable. He gently pushed her head towards him and she smiled wickedly, before her hot and soft mouth encircled him. He gasped, his head fell back as she devoured him, inch by incredible inch until he was fully down her throat. He looked back at her, his breathing heavy and fast as his hand stroked the hair from her face. She held him like this for a moment before she withdrew, taking a deep breath before she descended again, her moves long and even. He closed his eyes as he grabbed a handful of her hair, he hadn't realize that his grip tightened in her hair but her loud moan on his cock brought him back. He opened his eyes and steadied her head with both of his hands before he started in and out of her mouth. She massaged her breast and rubbed her clit as he did so, the feeling of him taking her that way...he sped up, he was so lost in the feeling that he couldn't control his speed. Then he shoved his cock deep down her throat again, holding still for a moment as her eyes found his, and he found the view very intriguing; Hawke, the woman of his dreams and heart sat on the bed before him, naked and stuffed with his hard and pulsing cock. The thought almost undid him.

He hastily pushed out of her and threw her on the bed. She crawled backwards and he towards her until she settled herself on the bed, he sat back and watched her spreading her legs before him and Maker give him the patience to take her slow and passionately, but he doubted that this was a possibility. He came towards her as she licked one finger before she started to rub her clit again, Sebastian positioned his cock right before her entrance, teasing her lips with little touches that made her bucking up her hips. She tensed and writhed underneath him, just as he had imagined for so many times, but this is reality; he wouldn't have to imagine anymore because he would have this memory. He grabbed his pulsing cock and slowly pushed inside her, her tight walls adjusting to his size and making her even more aroused. He slowly entered her and by the Maker the moment took forever, he never stopped entering her as if he was incredible big. Her eyes turned back and she moaned aloud now as he finally settled home into her hot and slick channel.

They both moaned as he felt her grip on him, he lowered his head towards hers and kissed her, the kiss long and deep, as if the kiss itself is a promise; a promise to always be hers from now on. Then he slowly started to move and he found that he wanted this moment to last forever, he wished he could push back his wild side of him and to be that passionate and gentle with her, but he just couldn't. He had to have her and he had to take her, and that's when his thrusts became faster and harder. Her moans and screams filled the room, not really caring if everyone would hear them, but she knew that Orana and the others certainly heard her. He lifted his upper body and grabbed her hips so he could take her even harder, the sensation was just too much for her and she came, his cock suddenly unbelievable wet and hot. Her tight walls tightened even more around him and by the Maker, this slickness, this heat...he came inside her with a loud moan, his seed filling her.

He collapsed next to her, his breathing heavy and his forehead slick with sweat as he readjusted on his back. He felt her scooping up next to him leaning her head on his strong chest as she silently cried. This was the most wonderful night in her life and she feared that when she wakes up he won't be here. She felt him trailing his fingers on her shoulder and she smiled, suddenly she was too dizzy to think about anything or to speak, so she fell asleep, hoping that she would find him in her arms.

####

He stared at the ceiling, her head leaned on his chest and his heart heavy with doubt and concern. He cared for Hawke, _Maker strike me down but I even dare to admit that I love her. _But he wasn't sure. Was it love he felt? Was it just pure sexual attraction? He was confused. So many emotions swirled through him; anger, love, disgust, satisfaction...he couldn't place all of it in his head. He came here earlier to talk about her feelings for him, about what she confessed to him.

He looked down on her, he could be the happiest man alive with her on his side and yet he was confused, insecure, as to what to do with his life. He could leave everything for her, he could be her husband, her love, but...it just seemed wrong to him. His heart ached to stay here with her, to wake up with her in the morning and to be greeted with her smile, but his mind told him differently. He slowly pushed her back on the bed, afraid not to awake her. He lied down beside her to make sure that she is sleeping, before he made his way out of the bed. He took his underwear, his breeches and shirt and put them back on, his heart tearing apart as to what he is about to do. He turned one last time towards her and spotted a small piece of red cloth on her bedside table. Carefully he walked to the bedside table, his heart hammering in his chest as he stood next to her, his heart sinking into oblivion.

He took the small red cloth and made his way out of her room, out of her embrace, and what's even worse to him, out of her heart.

**Notes:**

Hey! Another story from me, even though I haven't finished the other one lol. Anyway, this will be a short story, not too long about our smexy prince and lovely lady Hawke (again). Let me know what you think on that one. And thanks for reading it. I will post the chapters as soon as they are finished so be patient. :D


	2. Chapter 2

Hawke woke up as her mabari Kit jumped on her bed. She scratched him behind his ears causing her faithful companion to wiggle his tail in happiness. She looked around the room, her head a real mess as Kit jumped on her legs, craving for attention.

"Down with you. I told you to stay off the bed." Kit whined but he obeyed, instead he lied down on the carpet before the fireplace. She heard her empty belly and sighed as she stood up from the bed, calling Kit to follow her. Kit woofed in happiness as he followed his mistress down the stairs. Orana greeted her downstairs, Kit right behind Hawke as she stretched her hands above her head, yawning as she did so.

"Morning Orana."

"Morning mistress. Have you slept well?" _She is so sweet, it's a shame that she has no man, _she thought as she smiled at the obedient elf. Hawke came close to her and patted her shoulder before she answered.

"Very well even." Orana grinned at her, though Hawke wondered why. Nothing particular interesting happened last night. She thought about what she said wrong to the elf as her small and sweet voice broke her thoughts.

"I have prepared you some tea and waffles, mistress. The food is in your study."

"Thank you Orana." Orana bowed as Hawke walked past her towards her study, the hunger growing more and more. She entered and saw the food placed on the small round table she had in the study. Usually she used the table to read or to check some papers with a cup of tea, now she would use it to eat and she was pleased to see the fire already burning in the fireplace. She sat down on one of the neatly decorated chairs and took her cup to sip her tea. Then she took her waffles and ate them, the sweetness of the food melting in her mouth. She was in deep thought as she ate the waffles, somehow she felt strange, as of something happened which she can't remember, suddenly Bodahn entered the study and his eyes widened in surprise though Hawke wondered why. He came to her as he rubbed his hands, clearly he wanted to ask her something but he was either too embarrassed or too shy.

"What is it, Bodahn?" She asked him chuckling as he stopped next to her, his face worried.

"Eeh, mistress...I am sorry for asking but, are you alone?" She blinked at him confused, not really understanding why he asked her that question.

"Of course. Who should be with me?" Then Bodahn blinked at her, clearly confused about her answer. He wasn't sure if he should press further on, but...he had to tell her if she somehow forgot.

"I thought that...Prince Vael would be here for breakfast." Hawke narrowed her eyes at him, now she was even more confused, but she felt something...

"Why would he be here for-" _Oh Maker no...no, no, no, no...NO! This can't be...this can't be!_ Bodahn saw the fear written on her face but still he continued.

"He was here last night and I haven't heard him leave so I thought-" He couldn't even finish the sentence as Hawke stood up and ran to the nearby bucket, her hand on her mouth as she fell on her knees, the waffles and tea she drank earlier out of her body. She vomited not because she was sick but because she felt **disgusted** of herself. _What have I done_, she kept asking herself as she leaned her forearm on the bucket, silent tears going down her face.

"Mistress are you well? Should I call for lord Anders?" Hawke didn't have the strength to speak, nor did she had the strength to move. She sat there leaned on the bucket on her knees as she cried, her heart torn apart and her mind screaming at her. She hated herself, she hated herself for doing such a thing. _Now he is going to hate me for the rest of his life, _she thought as she began to cry aloud. Orana ran into the study with Kit on her side, she saw her mistress on the floor and she asked Bodahn what happened. He explained her everything but still no one dared to move closer to her, then she vomited again and Bodahn turned to Orana.

"I am going to call lord Anders. You stay here with her Orana." Bodahn turned to leave but her loud roar stopped him.

"NO!" Bodahn and Orana froze as she stood up, her face hidden from her hair. Both of them stared at her as she came closer to them, her face still hidden to them.

"Don't call for anyone. I will be at my chambers if anyone needs me." She walked past them, the bucket she threw up in under her arms as she made her way to her bedroom. _Maker what a fool I am_, she thought as she entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She fell on the floor with her back leaned on the door, the bucket now in her lap as she cried, her heart heavy with fear and disgust. _Of course he would leave you, you harassed him you crazy idiot._ _Now I have lost even the little closeness we had, and you lost a friend, a friend that meant the world to you you stupid, silly..._ She cradled her face in her palms as even more tears fell down her face, her sobs and cries filling her room as she struggles hard not to vomit again. She breathed deeply as she leaned her head on the door in hope to calm her mind and heart, but to no avail. She continued to cry her heart out as she placed the bucket aside. She would not leave her house today, and she wasn't sure if she would walk out this week or the next.

####

A few days later...

Hawke was walking through Hightown browsing the market stalls on her way to Lowtown. She needed Varric to find some info about a group of Tal-Vashoth that attacked some travelers on the Wounded Coast and she had the honor to wipe them out. She thought of bringing Fenris for close quarters, he had very useful skills though he and Hawke didn't see always eye to eye. Merrill would come with them too, her magic something that is very vital in a battle against Tal-Vashoth. Then she thought of bringing Sebastian with them, his skills with the bow are very handy and they always needed an archer- She stopped, shaking her head as she remembered that Sebastian was not an option. _Silly, remember that you harassed him,_ she thought as she made her way back to the Hanged Man, banishing the memory of their night together. Hawke had other men, she and Isabella had that in common, but Hawke was more discreet about her adventures then Isabella, and that Hawke thought was a big difference. Moments passed and she found herself at the entry door to the Hanged Man where Varric hopefully was, if he is not hiding from the merchants guild again. She smiled as she waved her hand to Corf signaling him to bring her the usual, he just nodded to her as she made her way up the stairs. She could hear them joking around, _probably playing wicked grave again_, she thought as she opened the door to Varric's suite, a small smile on her face as she started to speak to them.

"If you're playing wicked grace hold some cards out...for...me." Her blood froze, her stomach turned over and over as she saw Merrill, Anders, Fenris, Isabella and..._Makers breath why him..._ Sebastian. All of them didn't pay much attention to her, but his piercing blue eyes fell on her the moment she opened the door. She swallowed many times as she hoped the ground would open underneath her and swallow her, but no matter how hard she pleaded she stood there, in the Hanged Man, his eyes on her. Nobody noticed her pale face as they were all trapped in the game, Varric managed to speak to her as he watched both Anders and Fenris.

"Wait a moment Hawke, you'll have your cards. Here take a seat next to Choir boy." _You really love to torture me, huh, dear Maker? _She stood there, immobilized, her heart threatening to explode and her stomach turning over and over. She swallowed again, her lips and mouth dry as a desert as she slowly took her steps towards the free place...next to Sebastian. His eyes never left her as she walked towards him, his body temperature rising the moment he saw her. He was glad to see her but he just hadn't the courage to go to her and to clear the things that bothered him. _Maybe I could throw her on my shoulder and carry her to her bedroom as I spank her, again and again and-_

"You deaf? Your turn Choir boy!" Varric shouted at him from across the table, and Sebastian almost dropped his cards as he held them with shaky hands. He cleared his throat as he felt her sitting next to him.

"O-of course." _Is he blushing because of me? _Hawke wondered as she sat down next to him, her hands fisted in her lap as she worked her lower lip, suddenly she felt weary and sick again, her mind waving from side to side as it seemed. She rubbed her forehead, her face even more pale. Merril noticed her pale friend and she had to ask her.

"Are you okay Hawke? You look so pale..." Hawke just stared at the cards on the table, she hadn't the strength to speak as her entire body stared to sweat. Anders lifted his head from his cards as he heard no answer from her.

"Hawke you alright?" Again no answer from her. Sebastian dared a sideways glance at her, it was then that he saw her pale face staring at him as if she's seen a ghost. Anders brought his hand on her forehead and he withdrew hastily as he felt how cold she was.

"Makers breath Hawke, you're cold as ice!" Anders said aloud and everyone forgot the game as they saw her pale face staring at Sebastian. Varric called for Norah to bring a mug with water as everyone tried to figure out what's wrong with her. She saw his eyes and she immediately remembered the night they spent together, how wonderful it was, how she craved for his touch, his kiss, his everything...the thought made her sad...and sick. She burped, again and again until she ran off to the nearest bucket in the corner and vomited. All of them watched her as she vomited in the bucket, everyone worried as to what is wrong with her. Sebastian's heart told him to go to her and to comfort her, but his mind was winning over his heart...again. Anders came and knelt next to her as he grabbed her hair pushing it out of her face as she vomited again. After a moment she stopped, cradling her face in her palms as she felt embarrassed like never before. Anders placed a hand around her shoulders in a half hug as he stroked the remaining hair out of her face.

"Hawke what's wrong with you?" She cleaned her face with a handkerchief that Isabella gave her before she spoke, her voice a mere whisper.

"I am not feeling very well...must be the food." Anders continued to stroke her hair and Sebastian could feel a sudden surge of jealousy going through his body, his mind, his heart...he stood there, watching them from a distance as he comforted her. _He is just calming her, that's all_, he thought as his foot silently began tapping on the floor, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Anders slowly lifted her as he held her hands, her entire body shook from the vomiting. She lifted her head to look at them; all of them were worried. She stopped her eyes at Sebastian and she watched him, her stomach starting to turn over again as she tried to read his expression. _Maker is that...jealousy I see on his face? _She turned her head to Anders as she took his hand in hers to steady herself, a mean idea crossing her mind as Sebastian lowered his head to at least try to ignore them.

"Anders, please…could you walk me back home?" Sebastian's head snapped up at the words he heard. _WHAT? She is asking __**him **__to bring her home?_ His nostrils flared, his eyes filled with jealousy as he watched Anders hugging her waist. His hands turned to fists as he watched them leave, and Sebastian hated himself for listening to his mind.

"No problem Hawke, then I'll see to what is wrong with you." They both exited Varric's suite, Anders half hugging her waist as he held her hand. Sebastian shook his head to clear his mind from the jealousy. _He is just taking care of her...as a friend. Andraste be my guidance._ He thought to himself as he sat back with the others on the table. He took a deep breath as he watched the others, the silence growing in the room until Fenris decided to break it.

"She is not safe in the hands of the abomination!" _Thank you Holy Maker that I am not the only one who dislikes Anders._ Varric shook his head before he drank his mug.

"Oh please Broody, what could Blondie do to her? Take advantage of her while she is in such a state?" Fenris leaned across the table, his teeth bared at Varric.

"Yes, that's exactly what he could do." Varric filled his mug again, the annoyance clearly written on his face but Isabella interrupted his thoughts.

"I don't know, Anders is very charming and he **is **a mage, and mages can do amazing things with their tongue's." Fenris snorted, Varric shook his head in annoyance and Sebastian's anger only grew, his hands fisted on the table.

"What can he do with his tongue?" Asked poor Merril not understanding Isabella's jest.

"I'll explain it later to you, kitten." Merril lowered her head, her cheeks turning pink and the embarrassment clearly written on her face.

"Did I miss something dirty again? Oh I never catch that..." She emptied her mug as Isabella patted her shoulder. Sebastian watched Isabella, his anger slowly building up as he tried, desperately tried to banish the images of him kissing her where he already kissed her, touching her where he already touched her...having her in the way he already had her...it was enough for him. He stood up from the table and left without a word. Varric called for him but he didn't want to turn back, he couldn't. He had to get out of here and he needed to be alone. He had to pray...or run into a bunch of bandits and let his frustration out on them.

####

Hawke entered her mansion with Anders on her side, his hand hugging her waist and his other hand holding her hand. _He is warm, very warm even_, she thought as he walked her into her bedroom. It was night, and they were alone now in the large house, everyone else is sleeping and Hawke felt somehow...strange. She lied down on her bed as Anders covered her with the blanket, tugging the blanket around her shoulders. She watched him, how he cared for her and how his smile never left his face. _Why is he smiling like that? _She thought as he brought his hands to her face to measure her temperature. _Maker he is so warm...but he is not-_ She broke her thought, her face sad and her stomach doing a flip as she remembered Sebastian's face. It was jealousy, she was certain and she smiled inwardly as she realized that he was jealous, and somehow that thought made her happy. Anders saw her smile and he couldn't help but ask.

"Why are you smiling like that?" She still smiled as she averted her eyes at him.

"Oh nothing. I am feeling better now, thanks." He smiled back at her, his heart beating faster the moment he saw her smile. He sat next to her on the bed as he turned to her.

"You have a little fever, but nothing is wrong with you. You're fine." She leaned her back on the pillows as she folded her hands in her lap. Anders turned his body to her, facing her completely now as his eyes trailed on her face. She watched him as he took her hand in his, his warmth radiating from his body...again. _Maker why is he so warm and nice, why is he smiling like that? _He brought his hand up to cup her face, the smile still on his face, but his eyes were filled with something else.

"You worried me, Hawke. I thought you were sick." _Maker why is he staring at me like that? I want him to stop but he just keeps staring at me. _Hawke felt uncomfortable, very uncomfortable and she broke the eye contact. She closed her eyes for a moment and looked away, her heart beating faster and her breathing sped up. Suddenly she felt his hand taking her chin forcing her face back to him, his face bearing an unreadable expression as his eyes gazed deep into hers. She blinked rapidly a few times, her heart beating frantically as she saw him lowering his face towards her. Hawke didn't had the time to react as his mouth fell over hers in a long, heated kiss. Her eyes were still open as her brain realized what was going on, his hands still on her face. She narrowed her eyes at him as she found the strength to grab him by his shoulders and to push him away. He fell off the bed, his arse hitting the floor as he looked back at her, his eyes wide and confused where hers were filled with anger and hate.

"Hawke I am sorry, I thought-"

"It's best you leave." She said angrily to him as he stood up. He cleared his throat and tried to convince her that it was a...slip.

"Hawke, please I am sorry." Then she looked at him in the way she looks at her victim; her narrowed eyes flared with anger, her nostrils flared and her hands turned to fists in her lap. He submitted, he turned and left, his heart heavy with guilt and sadness. Hawke watched him leave until he closed the door, leaving her alone in the room. She blinked a few times as she realized she was crying, alone and hurt. She could have Anders, she even found him attractive and lovely, but she couldn' heart, and mind, belonged to someone else. _Great Hawke, now you can't even bed the sexiest mage you ever saw in your life because you love Sebastian. _She broke her thoughts at that sentence, her eyes wide with shock. She shook her head as she lied down on the bed covering her head with the blanket as she thought that the fever causes her to think such stupid thoughts, but still she feared that it was true and that she already fell for the charms of her sexy prince.

"Damn you Sebastian! May the Void take you, you stupid, silly, daft, sexy, charming idiot!" She spoke to herself, the frustration and anger now overwhelming her. Suddenly she felt sick again, luckily she had a bucket placed near her bed and she leaned over it as she started to vomit again. It was strange, she never felt sick before and now she vomited without a reason. When she finished she settled back in the bed, her mind tired from today's vomiting and she hoped that she would feel better tomorrow.

**Notes:**

I love so much to torture our lovely, sexy and charming prince. And by the way, thank you for reviewing and reading _Valentine, Oh Valentine's day. _It really means a lot to me, and who knows, if the reviews keep coming I might add another chapter. You can even PM me if you have an idea about a one-shot. Oh well, I am blabbering again...sorry. Chapter 3 coming out soon!


	3. Chapter 3

_It is so wonderful...yes, touch me..._

_Oh Maker Hawke...I love you so much..._

_Sebastian...I want you..._

_And I want you Hawke...I want to carry our child..._

_Our...child?_

_Yes...don't you feel it, Hawke?_

Hawke sat up, her body cold as ice as she struggled to breathe, desperately looking around the room to make sure that this was nothing but a dream. _A strange dream indeed..._her breathing returned to normal before she slowly stood up from the bed. It's been three days since she last saw Sebastian in the Hanged Man, her heart still beating at the memory of the jealousy she saw on his face as she took Anders' hand. She felt a little pain going from her belly and she pushed down her pants and underwear to see if she got her period. _Nothing._.._when_ _do I need to have my period again?_ She started counting with her fingers since her last period, her eyes directed at the ceiling.

"Seven..." She stared at the ceiling as she counted again, and again she counted the same number of days.

"Seven days ago..." She said easily, without much worry or fear. Then the number came to her mind and her blood froze in her veins.

"SEVEN DAYS!" She ran her hands through her hair as she fell on her knees. _Maker no...no no no no no NO! _Silent tears fell down her face as her entire body started to shake. She was scared to death as she realized that she could be pregnant, and her last lover was-

"HOLY MAKER NO!" She yelled through her room as she stood up, grabbed her chair and slammed it on the ground, the chair breaking into hundred pieces. Bodahn ran into her room his eyes wide with feat as he saw the broken chair on the floor.

"Mi-mistress, a-are you well?" He dared to ask her though he was afraid that he would make her throw something at him. She just stood there, her face and body pale as she stared at one dot in the wall unable to look away as her world changed around her. Somehow she managed to find her voice as she spoke to Bodahn.

"Go...and get Anders. I don't care if he has to take care of the Blight itself, he will leave whatever he is doing and COME TO ME!" Bodahn ran off to grab Anders, not really knowing what is wrong with her. He never saw her acting like that before and he wondered if something is happening to her. He took the tunnel from the estate to arrive as quickly as possible to his clinic, a few moments later he arrived behind Anders. Anders saw Bodahn and wondered what happened to him and if something happened to Hawke.

"Bodahn? What happened?" He asked him as the dwarf struggles to breath, when his breathing returned to normal for a little he started to speak.

"Mistress Hawke requested you immediately, she said it is urgent." Anders' eyebrows shot up as he studied the dwarf.

"Urgent? How urgent?" The dwarf narrowed his eyes at him but he managed to keep his voice down.

"She smacked a chair of the ground before she sense me to look for you. Please you have to come with me." Without another word they made their way back to the estate. A while later they both entered Hawke's bedroom only to find her sitting on the bed, her face hidden between her knees as they heard her crying.

"Mistress, lord Anders is here."

"Leave us alone Bodahn." He left silently although he eyed the mage suspiciously. Anders waited for him to close the door before he made his way towards her, sitting next to her on the bed as he placed a hand on her shoulder, he could feel how cold she was even through her shirt.

"What's the matter Hawke, what happened?" Then she lifted her head to look at him, and his heart broke as he saw her red and worried face. She sobbed a few times before she took a deep breath to be able to speak, her entire body shaking with fear.

"Am I different to you Anders? In any way?" Anders eyed her entire body, as if he searched for a difference on her body, a bruise or a scar but he found none.

"No Hawke you're fine and you're the same. What's bothering you?" She laughed bitterly as she shook her head, _he is so stupid sometimes_, she thought before she turned her entire body to him, facing him completely now.

"If you tell about this to someone Anders, I will kill you. Do you hear me? I will rip your heart out!" Anders raised his hands in front of him in defense as he saw her angry face.

"Wow wow wow, Hawke, easy. Now tell me what's going on and I promise you I won't tell anyone." She closed her eyes for a moment as she searched for the courage and strength to ask him, her heart hammering in her chest as she finally opened her eyes. _It's now or never._

"Am I pregnant?" His mouth fell wide open, his eyes widened as he heard her words.

"What?! Hawke what are you-"

"Just answer my question!" She yelled at him, he just sat there and stared at her as he swallowed multiple times, his eyelashes blinking rapidly at her. He took a deep breath and placed his hands on her stomach as he started to work his magic. Hawke felt his magic going through her body as she desperately prayed to the Maker that it is a false alarm, that nothing is wrong with her. Then she thought about Sebastian and her heart almost broke apart, _I ruined my life but why do I have to ruin his? _she thought as she cradled her face in her palms. It was her fault, she blamed herself for inviting him here in the middle of the night to talk about her feelings. _Maker that Man had his life and now your going to ruin both your lives! Anders _took his hands slowly away from her belly, his eyes still fixed on her stomach as his face wore and unreadable expression. She swallowed hard before she found the strength to speak.

"And?" Her voice was a mere shaking whisper, Anders averted his narrowed and worried eyes to hers as he took her hand in his, and Hawke already knew the answer to her question as she felt the sudden urge to vomit again.

"You're pregnant."

####

Sebastian cleaned the Chantry floors with the broom, he used the moment to reflect on his deeds, or tried at least. His mind was tormenting him with images of Hawke, her gloriously naked body underneath his as he kissed her neck, trailing a path down to her breasts, her stomach...he stopped his thoughts and swallowed hard as his lips became dry. He couldn't stop thinking about her and Anders, about how he held her waist and how he took care of her. He grabbed the handle hard, his eyes closed as the images of them taunted his mind. He hated himself for being so weak, yet all of it could be so different, he only needed to go to her and to confess his feelings to her, then he would take back his throne and he would give her the life she deserves. But everything that was easy seemed wrong; what if she was a Maker given test of faith? What if she was his own personal desire demon only to test his unshakable faith? He shook his head, _no, not Hawke, she can't be a demon, _he thought to himself and he hadn't heard the footsteps that were approaching him from behind.

"Sebastian?" He turned, startled, only to see Elthina behind him, her face worried and her sad eyes looking at him. He couched a few times as she took his hand and lead them to the nearby bench. She placed his hand on her lap as he stared at it, but Elthina saw that something troubled him so she decided to ask.

"Sebastian, what is troubling you?" Her voice was almost a whisper and filled with concern, he lifted his head to look at her and he almost broke at the intense gaze of hers. _I could tell her and she could give me an advice and...no that won't work._ He looked away for a moment before he looked back at her forcing a smile on his face.

"I am fine Your Grace." She shook her head and her smile died.

"Lying is a sin, Sebastian." His smile died too as he averted his gaze to the floor, then his eyes caught the red ribbon bound on his wrist and again he had the urge to tell her everything.

"I am..." _What Sebastian, what are you? A fool, an idiot, in love? _He asked himself and he swallowed hard before he looked back at Elthina, suddenly he couldn't tell her what bothered him.

"...not willing to talk about it." His voice was husky, trembling and frightened. Elthina saw the inner battle he fought around something but he just kept blocking her. She stood up and he followed her, his heart heavy with guilt that he maybe offended her.

"Your Grace-" She took his hand in hers and she could feel his tense and stressed body. She smiled at him as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Sebastian, I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, as a mother and a friend. There is nothing you need to hide from me." He watched the features of her old face and he knew she was right, but he wasn't ready to tell her his darkest secret, that he is in love and that he slept with her and broke his vows..._Maker but I gladly did it for her._

"I know Your Grace, but I need time for myself to think about it." Without anything left to say she smiled at him and left. Sebastian watched her, his mind torn between duty to the Chantry or to his feelings for her. He fell down on the bench again, his heart heavy with confusion as his eyes fell to the red ribbon bound on his wrist. He thought about their night together, he wore the ribbon since then, the only one who saw the ribbon was Isabella and apparently she knew what it meant because she kept asking him whom he is devoted to. He smiled at that thought..._devoted, to her and only her._ He lifted his head and stared at the big statue of Andraste in front of him and again, doubt filled his heart. He was torn between two forces, and he knew that he will have to choose soon. _What will you choose, Sebastian? Her love and her embrace, or the contentment and the peaceful life of the Chantry?_ He stood up as the air became too heavy to breathe, he walked out of the Chantry and he walked to the Hanged Man in hope to see her there.

####

Hawke was sitting on her bed, alone. She send him away after he told her that she is pregnant, that he absolutely sure about it. But what bothered her most was for how long she was pregnant and then she remembered Anders' words;_ a week...you're pregnant for about a week..._ She slept with Sebastian eight days ago, before him she hadn't slept with anyone, and after that she hadn't slept with anyone either..._Maker what am I going to do? Should I tell him?_ She honestly thought about going to him and to tell him, but when she gave it a better thought..._no, better keep it to myself for now. _She looked out of the window, it was noon and again she almost spend the entire day in her estate thinking, thinking and nothing but thinking. She needed fresh air, and she decided to stopped whining about that. _Fuck it, you're pregnant so what? At least they won't know about it...for now._ She changed her clothes and put on her armor, now she felt safe and unbeatable again. She decided to go to the Hanged Man, she missed everyone and she needed a drink. _Oh you're not allowed to drink, you're pregnant._ She shook her head and walked out, hoping that the frustration will go away until she arrives there. She was in deep thought as walked through Hightown, swinging her daggers through the air as everyone watched her. She came to Lowtown fast and she saw the doors to the Hanged Man, she quickened her pace to arrive there as soon as possible, but then she bumped into a massive wall of flesh. She fell to the floor her arse hitting the ground hard as she saw a hand in shining white armor reaching out for her..._Oh Maker no._

"Maker Hawke I am sorry I haven't seen you!" She watched his eyes for a while, his hand still reached out for her. She was hipnotized by his gaze, _Maker why does he have so wonderful eyes?_ Without thinking she gave her hand to him and he lifted her, his hand holding hers hard but also gentle. Their bodies were inches away from each other as they stood there outside the Hanged Man, he looking down at her and she staring at his chest. Maker but he was intoxicating, his voice, his smell, his eyes...his heat radiating even through his armor as his breath tingled her hair on her head. She felt his hand still holding hers and her eyes fell to their hands, she saw the small red ribbon bound on his wrist and her heart skipped a beat as she recognized the ribbon with the small white flower pictured at one end. Her head snapped up and her eyes found his, her mouth slightly open as he gazed deep into her eyes, her cheeks blushing so hard that she thought she was bloody red in her face. Then she realized how closed they were, their bodies so close to one another, their faces so close to one another..._I could kiss him, right here..._buther body reacted otherwise as she snatched her hand away from his, breaking their gaze as she looked away. _What are you doing?! Why aren't you kissing him?! _She rubbed the back of her neck as she took a backwards step, her eyes fixed on the ground as her heart beat fast like never before.

"Sorry..." She told him as she looked at the floor. Sebastian watched her, his heart threatening to explode as he swallowed multiple times as the silence grew uncomfortable. _Say something, anything!_

"How are you?" _Good start, just keep the conversation flowing, _he thought to himself as she lifted her head, still avoiding his gaze.

"Fine." She answered flatly as her heartbeat grew even faster. She slowly lifted her eyes to meet his, _tell him that you're pregnant, he is the father and he has a right to know, _her mind scolded her as her mouth went dry, the world around her dying as nothing else mattered but him. She swallowed hard before she spoke to him, ready to confess anything.

"Sebastian...there is something I need to talk to you about..." His eyebrows furrowed together as he watched her, his mind screaming at him to carry her home to 'talk', but he just stood there, unable to move as their eyes met again. Something was different about her, he could see a small amount of fear and doubt on her face as he waited for her to start talking. She swallowed again and closed her eyes to settle her mind, _it's now or never._

"Sebastian I'm-"

"Hawke there you are!" Isabella screamed from afar interrupting Hawke's sentence. Sebastian still watched Hawke, his eyes narrowed and his jaw tight. She never saw him staring at her like that before, and Maker that turned her on.

"You're what Hawke?" He asked her before Isabella came to them. Isabella stared at both of them and she felt that she interrupted something important, Hawke's lips quivered and her eyes were wide with fear, Isabella looked back at Sebastian and saw his narrowed and worried eyes and his tight jaw. Hawke forced a smile on her face as she took Isabella's hand in hers, leading them through the doors.

"Never mind." She winked at him, her heart racing in her chest as she somehow tried to hide her tension. Sebastian watched her and he hated Isabella for interrupting them, but he promised himself that he would find out what he wanted to tell him, even if he had to bind her to the bed and spank her until she submitted. He stopped at the first stair and shook his head as he smiled. _What are you thinking about Sebastian?_

####

The rest of the evening went well, Hawke threw up again but at least she knew why she vomited again and again. They were playing wicked grace, everyone was laughing and joking around, only Hawke was silent, staring at the cards that were thrown on the table and her hands placed on her belly. Sebastian was silent too, glancing at her from time to time as their gazes met. Everyone was too absorbed in the game where Merril started to win, and everyone was too thrilled to actually see Merril win so that no one noticed the blank look that Hawke and Sebastian wore on their faces. Hawke was thinking about her life and Sebastian tried to figure out what she wanted to tell him before Isabella interrupted them. _Would she tell me that she regrets our night, that night which meant the world to me? _He felt a shudder running down his spine as he thought about that option, and he realized that these words from her would break his heart. He watched her now and saw the same blank look on her face as before and he wondered what bothered her so much. Hawke felt his eyes on her and she slowly lifted her eyes only to meet his, and no on tried to break the eye contact now. She blinked rapidly at him as she remembered seeing her red ribbon around his wrist, she wondered why he wore it, what the meaning of it was. Then she thought about their child..._Maker I never thought that I would have children...especially not with Sebastian, and now I am hiding it from him._ She looked away from him as her heart started to beat faster. _How would he react? Would he be mad at me and tell me that he is the Makers servant, yadayadayada? _She closed her eyes as fear overwhelmed her, it was too much for her to think right now and she needed some fresh air. She slowly stood up and everyone's eyes fell at her, their smiles replaced with worry as the game was forgotten.

"Where are you going Hawke? It's still early." Varric asked her and Isabella came to her, slowly placing her hand on Hawke's elbow as she looked at her.

"Hawke are you well?" Isabella asked her and Hawke managed to fake a smile.

"I am well, just a little tired that's all. I am going home now." She left Isabella's side and wanted to leave, suddenly Sebastian stood up as well and came to stan next to her. Hawke's eyes widened as she saw just how close he was to her.

"I'll take her home, don't worry." Panic overwhelmed her and she tried to rescue herself.

"No need, I can watch over myself." Then Anders came up from behind, his face serious and she was certain that he would give her away now.

"It's late Hawke, let him accompany you." Anders eyed her angrily, his look spoke volumes to her and she had to submit. She turned and walked in front of Sebastian, not really caring that he has to run after her to catch up. They exited the Hanged Man and they started to walk back to her estate. Her heart and mind were raging, her entire body shook as he caught up with her and walked beside her now. They walked in silence, both of them not daring to say a word, though the silence was rather...comfortable. She even dared to say that she enjoyed the silent walk under the moonlight with him, and that thought made her frightened. _Why am I feeling this way when I can't have him? Why is my heart beating faster the moment I see him? _She was in deep thought as the questions just kept coming making her even more confused. Maker she wanted him and she wanted this baby, no matter how much it was wrong to crave for these two things she had to have them both. The walk to her home was comfortable and nice, she missed his presence, even though she wasn't allowed to feel that way. They stopped before her door and she turned to him, her eyes fixed on his chest as her mouth fell open a little before she spoke to him, her voice a little louder then a whisper.

"Thank you for walking me home...good night." She turned to the door and grabbed the doorknob to enter, suddenly his hand snapped up and grabbed her wrist. Her body froze as she saw his hand with the ribbon on it holding hers, his heat going from his body to hers. He was in a state of trance, he just couldn't let her enter the mansion, his heart racing in his chest as he saw her watching the ribbon and he wondered if she knew what it meant. Her eyes found his then, and the world around them died, the only thing he saw were her eyes, his blood pulsing through his veins as he stared at her. She blinked a few times at him as she felt his grip tightened around her wrist, _he don't want to let me go...but why? _She saw him closing his eyes for a moment, his heart telling him to claim her and to tell her what he felt, but his mind told him otherwise. He slowly retrieved his hand, his eyes still closed as his fingers brushed the soft skin on her hand..._Maker her skin, she is so soft and she always smells so wonderful..._his eyes were still closed as he breathed heavily, his mind and heart at a never ending conflict. He swallowed hard before he opened his eyes again, only to see her staring at him, their eyes immediately locking with one another before he spoke.

"I am sorry..." She watched him, unable to look away as she tried to find her strength to speak, his eyes hipnotizing her mind. She couldn't speak so she just shook her head, telling him that it is okay. Then another long and comfortable silence, his eyes making her heart flutter as they stood there watching each other as neither of them wanted the other to leave. He swallowed hard as he realized that he was staring at her, suddenly he turned away and started to leave. She watched his back as he left, her heart sinking into oblivion as she felt that she was losing him._ Say something, anything, just stop him!_

"Sebastian!" She yelled his name, although she didn't know why. _Great he stopped, now what?_ He stopped, his blood pulsing even faster through his body as he heard her voice. He then turned, slowly, as if he would face a monster or something. He saw her coming closer to him, and his heart once again threatened to explode as their eyes locked. She stopped right in front of him, their bodies inches away from each other as she lifted her head towards him. She just had to ask him, she had to risk it and she didn't care if he would hate her for that.

"Sebastian...may I kiss you good night?" Her voice was a mere whisper and he could see the fear in her eyes and behind her words._ Maker why are you torturing me? Why don't you just take my life and rid me from this torment? He _watched her, his eyes studying her face as he thought about her simple request. _There is nothing wrong with a good night kiss._ Her face saddened as she heard no answer from him and she lowered her head in shame._ Great, now he hates you even more._

"Yes..." His voice was husky and low, and her head snapped up as she heard his words, her eyes wide with disbelief. She looked away for a moment before she looked back at him, still not believing he said yes. She prompted herself up on her toes and he lowered his face towards hers. She blinked rapidly as she saw his face nearing hers and her heart almost exploded from the thought to feel his soft lips again. They both stopped as their noses touched and they both blinked rapidly as they watched each others mouth. Her breathing sped up, her entire body tensed as she felt his hands gently grabbing her by her upper arms, she instinctively placed her palms on his chest as she felt his tense body shaking a little. Both of them breathed nervously until their mouths met, their kiss long, soft and deep. Both of them closed their eyes as they felt each others softness, and suddenly he felt his heart flutter, his mind turning off as her soft lips were pressed on his. They stood like this, he holding her upper arms and she holding her palms on his chest piece as time passed by, none of them willing to break the sensual kiss. This kiss meant more then thousand words and actions, this kiss spoke out everything that needed to be said. Then she slowly broke the kiss as their eyes half opened, their noses still touching each other as her breathing sped up again. She enjoyed their closeness, she enjoyed how their noses nuzzle with each other as they stood there, both unable to move. His grip on her arms tightened, his breathing fast and ragged as he stared at her, she immediately recognized the predatory look on his face but she could also see the doubt and fear behind his eyes. She stood on her feet again and she immediately missed their closeness as she watched her hands on his chest piece, her heart beating frantically in her chest. His grip on her arms softened until he released them completely, his hands fitted falling to his sides. Their bodies were still close and their eyes were still locked on each other mouths, finally she found the strength to speak as she swallowed hard.

"Good...night." She whispered to him, her entire body shaking as he took a backwards step, not really trusting his own body. He took his eyes away from her soft and rosy mouth and looked into her eyes, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he watched her.

"Good night." He whispered to her, slowly walking backwards as his eyes were still locked with hers. He turned his back to her after a moment, his heart screaming at him to go back to her embrace, back into her bed...he shook his head as he slowly reached the stairs to the Chantry. He stopped then, leaning his body on the nearby wall as he asked himself what is he doing, why is he running away from her..._ Why am I killing myself?_ He looked up at the Chantry, he felt happy here, content, but now as his feelings for her grew, he just couldn't help but think that the Chantry is his personal Void, and that he will loose his soul if he stays here.

**Notes:**

Hope you like this one and that you continue reading it. And of course, let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

Three months later...

Hawke stood in front of her wardrobe picking the clothes that are a few sizes bigger then her old clothes. Her tummy was rounder with every passing day and Hawke found it very annoying, she had to go more often to the market stalls to pick new clothes. She hadn't told her gang that she is pregnant, that's why she arranged the dinner for tonight. She wanted to set things clear when everyone in her gang started to mock her that she eats too much and that she's getting fat. Well, the second one is even true, her cheeks were never that plumy before and her body was more rounder then before, not too much though. She wanted to invite everyone except Sebastian, and her plan would've worked if Isabella hadn't invited him. She sighed, _it doesn't matter what you wear, you will still look...fat._ She took a green dress that's perfectly made for pregnancy and she changed into it. Orana and Bodahn prepared everything in the kitchen so she was free, even though their gang will arrive any moment. She placed a little make up on her face and pushed her hair up in a messy bun, when she was pleased with her reflection she made her way downstairs. She came closer to the dining room and she could already hear Isabella and Varric pestering Orana to tell her what the dinner was all about. She smiled, good thing she hadn't told them because she didn't know if Orana could resist the pressure from the two of them. Hawke entered the kitchen and both of them turned to her, leaving the poor servant girl alone finally.

"Why are you torturing my servants?" Varric leaned on the table and Isabella sat down on the chair next to Hawke.

"You haven't told us what this is all about Hawke, we have to find out before the others." Hawke smiled as she heard Bodahn talking to her other guests, _that's Aveline, and that's Merril's voice and Fenris'_, she thought as she stood up to greet her guest's. She walked out to the foyer and slightly she bowed to them, a wide grin on her face.

"Welcome to my humble home friends." She hugged Merril and then Aveline who answered her.

"Well not exactly humble, but nice enough." She nodded to Fenris and he nodded back to her, though she wondered that he arrived. They had a bad argument a few days ago, but still she was happy that he arrived. The next was Anders to come and they were all sitting at the table joking and laughing, only one was missing and she silently prayed that he arrives. Then a knock and she hastily stood up to greet him herself. _Maker Hawke you're acting like a little girl, _she thought as she opened the door and her heart immediately skipped a beat as she saw him, _my prince,_ she blushed at the thought and he couldn't help but smile and wonder what caused her blush.

"Hello Hawke." He simply said as he entered and that gave her a moment to study him; he wore a dark blue embroidery with black breeches, _hmm Maker look at that tight and squeezed ass, oh he looks at me, lift your eyes Hawke, don't stare at his wonderful shaped arse...yes that's fine and now stop smiling like you're on some drugs. _She pointed her hand to the kitchen and he walked in front of her, and again her eyes fell to his arse. _Oh look how it moves, I so want to grab him...just a little._ Then her hand came in front of her and she was so close to grab him, to just feel him a little, but suddenly he turned as they entered the kitchen and she snatched her hand back to her. Sebastian watched her with a smile on his face as he wondered..._did she wanted to...grab my ass? _His smile got wider then as he turned and sat at the table, Hawke was certain that she was bloody red in her face, _great, now he'll think you're some horny maniac..._ She came to them and sat down, Sebastian's eyes never leaving her as he noticed her small, curvy belly. He watched her closely and noticed that she wasn't drinking anything, and he got even more suspicious. They all started to eat the dinner Hawke and Orana prepared, the dinner progressing with jokes and insults, mostly from Fenris to Anders, but no one gave it any serious thought about it. She watched the entire table as suddenly her eyes locked with his, her heart skipping a beat and her mouth still curved in a small smile. They watched each other, the surroundings dying around them as she was once again trapped by his gaze. She melted away every time they watched each other like that and she wondered if it was the same for him, then her eyes fell on his right hand and her smile widened a little as he saw the red ribbon. He smiled back at her as he lifted his mug with his right hand, knowing exactly what she is looking at before he emptied it. Then her smile turned into something more...primal then just an innocent smile, and his smile slowly faded away as he stared at her, his eyes slowly getting dark with...lust. Her eyes were getting dark as well, her mind already showing her images of their night together, his mind showing exactly the same to him and he couldn't help but think about it. How he would love to feel her again, to touch her in her hidden places, to please her in any way possible...he swallowed hard and she saw his neck muscle work, suddenly she felt hot between her legs as a certain thought crossed her mind...

"Hawke!" She turned her head to Varric who called her name several times, she smiled at him before he continued to speak.

"Mind telling us why we're here?" Then silence spread through the room, her eyes once again locking with his. She wondered if he would put two and two together, if he would realize that he is the father...she shook her head before she started to speak.

"Well, I have to share with you something very personal, and since you're my friends I thought you should know...well Anders already knows of it." Everyone stared at Anders then, and Sebastian couldn't ignore the jealousy that engulfed his mind and heart. He turned his narrow eyes at her and he saw something in her eyes..._regret? Sorrow? _He couldn't read her expression, suddenly she looked away from him before she started to speak again.

"I have been sick lately, as you all know and now I know the reason why I am sick." Then another long silence as everyone waited for her to speak. Anders watched Sebastian suspiciously, he felt something going on between him and Hawke though he couldn't place what because he is a Chantry brother. Hawke took another deep breath before she spoke again.

"People, I am pregnant." The silence grew even thicker in the room, everyone blinking rapidly at the words she said. Sebastian froze at the words, his heart sinking into oblivion..._there,_ _I lost her._..he thought as he emptied his mug before he slammed it back on the table. Hawke's eyes fell on him and his shaking body, she saw his eyes closed and her heart almost stopped. _What is he thinking? _she asked herself as she heard laughter bursting in the room, though she couldn't help but stare at Sebastian. Everyone congratulated her, everyone patted her shoulder, but her mind was directed only at him and the expression he wore on his face. _He is broken, but...why?_ She heard Varric asking her something but she hadn't the strength to speak, her mouth was open but the words didn't want to come out. Everyone saw her stunned expression and everyone turned to Sebastian only to see his hands fisted an his eyes closed. No one dared to ask her who the father was, and soon everyone returned to their jokes and laughs, only Sebastian stared at the table, his heart shattered to pieces. A few hours later everyone returned to their homes, and Hawke was left alone to wash the dishes. She didn't have to wash, but she wanted to use the time to think about the evening. Sebastian's reaction surprised her, she didn't know that she would see the jealousy on his face again and she wondered why he was jealous. Was it because she is pregnant and that he thinks that he isn't the father, or the fact she didn't tell him. She didn't know, and frankly she couldn't care, she was tired of caring for others then herself. She was in deep thought as she washed the dishes, her mind returning only to Sebastian and wondering if she should tell him that he is the father. She smiled, thinking about how he would carry their child, love it and cherish it...suddenly a knock on her door broke her thoughts and she dried her hands before she made her way out of the kitchen. She wondered who it was knocking on her door at this hour, everyone of her friends went home..._maybe someone forgot something,_ she thought as she opened the door. Her eyes widened, her breath was caught away from her as she saw Sebastian leaned on the doorway. She blinked rapidly, _I must be dreaming,_ as she stepped aside to grant him access. He watched her closely before he entered, his mind screaming at him to go home but his heart told him to go back to her...and for once he decided to listen to his heart. Both were silent as they made their way to the kitchen, both their hearts hammering in their chests as they entered the kitchen. He sat down on a chair and she returned to her work, he hadn't noticed what she was doing before he lifted his head to look at her, then he saw her washing up the dishes and he immediately stood up from the chair and walked next to her.

"Let me handle that, you go and sit down." She shuddered as she felt his presence so close to her but she couldn't let him do all the work.

"No I can manage that." Then their eyes locked, and suddenly she hasn't the strength to argue with him anymore. He took the sponge from her hand and for a brief moment their fingers touched. He stood still for a while and watched her before he turned his attention to the dirty dishes. She slowly walked away from him and did what he told her, she sat down on the chair next to the fireplace and relaxed. Her eyes were glued on his back though, she hadn't the strength to look away from him as he washed her dishes. So many thoughts swirled through her mind, she was tired and exhausted but still she couldn't ignore the wild beating of her heart whenever their eyes locked. She was certain that her feelings for him grew, and that made her scared;_ what if he hates me for the night we spent together? _Suddenly she felt a lone tear going down her face and she hastily chased it away. She would at least have the memory of their night together, and that was enough for her, although she wished he would be hers completely. She turned her eyes to the fire in the fireplace, her heart filled with sadness as she thought about him.

"Who is the father?" His voice startled her, breaking her thoughts from him as she returned her eyes to him. His back was turned to her and he was still washing up as another lone tear made it's way down her face. _What am I going to tell him?_

"I...I don't know." Sebastian closed his eyes, _a one night stand then, _he couldn't help but feel a little happy, at least she was not engaged or worse, she wasn't in love with someone else. He finished the last dirty plates that were left before he took the towel to dry his hands, and he had to keep asking her.

"Why don't you miscarry?" Her head snapped to him as she heard his question, and her heart fell apart. _He wants me to...to miscarry our child? _She turned her head back to the fireplace as the tears started to fall down her face.

"I-I can't blame the child for my mistake." _Mistake, huh? The most beautiful night in your life was not a mistake._ He then turned to her as he heard her shaking voice, she was staring at the fire as he decided to take his chair and place it in front of her before he sat down. It was then when he saw her crying silently, and his heart broke at the sight.

"Why are you crying Hawke?" She smiled a little as she wiped away her tears, _he doesn't need to see you crying like a little girl._

"It's just...everything changed you know. I can't be as reckless anymore as I was before. I have to watch over both of us." She stood up and sat down on the nearby couch, the air between then choking her. She stared at the floor before she continued, her voice even more trembling.

"And now this child won't even have a father to take care of and I will be all alone...and..." Her sobs were choking her and she couldn't help but cry at her miserable life, she cradled her face in her palms as she cried, his heart hurting for seeing her like that. _Do something, she is crying, do something you idiot. _Hesat there unable to move and not knowing what to do as he cleared his throat to speak.

"You are not alone, Hawke." She lifted her head as she heard these words, the tears still going down her face.

"And whom do I have?" _Me...you have me...for eternity._

"You have Varric, Isabella, Fenris, Anders, Merril and Aveline. You are all very dear to them." She lowered her head again, her eyes looking at the floor as her heart sunk into oblivion, she has every one of them, yes. _But what about you Sebastian...do I have you?_

"And you have me..." His voice was husky and low, her eyes widened at that and her heart hammered even faster until a weak smile crossed her face as she looked at him.

"No...I lost you..." Her voice was a were whisper as she looked at him, suddenly she hated their night together because she lost a very dear friend. She lost the one person she respected the most, the one person she loved more than anything. She cradled her face in her palms again, not able to look at him as the air between them grew thick. He watched her, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he thought about her words..._how can she think she lost me?_ He looked away from her, his eyes falling at the flames in the fireplace as he tried to shut down his screaming mind. He turned back to her and suddenly his heart became much louder then his mind. _She needs you, don't you see that? Don't you see that you mean the world to her? _Without thinking he stood up and walked towards her, she heard him leaving his place and she lifted her head only to see him approaching her. Her eyes widened with fear as he sat down next to her and she reflexively scooped to the other end of the couch. He watched her as her entire body shook, her eyes avoiding his, but he didn't want to give up now. He scooped closer to her and she raised her hands in defense towards him as he lifted his hands to embrace her, but she pushed his hands away as even more tears fell down her face.

"No Sebastian, please don't-"

"Shh..." He hushed her as he brought his hands around her shoulders, he immediately felt her shaking body as he finally embraced her, holding her body tight to his. She struggled before her head fell on his strong shoulder, and then her sadness crushed over her like a wave. She cried as his strong and protective hands held her, soothing away every tension, every worry she felt at that moment. Her heart fluttered, her body shaking even more as he tightened his grip around her, his hand stroking her upper back as his chin rested on top of her head. Her hair tickled his nose and he could smell her hair, it was a sweet scent of roses and honey, and he couldn't ignore his wild beating heart anymore. His mind was at ease, his heart fluttering as he held her to him, her small and soft body shaking with everyone sob she let out. Then images of their night together played in his mind, and he couldn't ignore the rush of happiness and joy going through his body. _Maker I am so happy with her...why am I pushing her away? Why am I hurting her and myself?_ Hawke was looking at his neck, her head still resting on his shoulder as she remembered their night together. Suddenly her body stopped shaking as she felt his warm body holding her, his strong hands wrapped around her. She was content as her eyes looked up to him, she wanted to see his face but from that angle she couldn't see anything. Slowly she readjusted her body, afraid not to lose his grip around her as she lifted her head from his shoulders, her nose touching his jaw as she brought her face before his. Now she could see his face and she saw that he is content, too. Her eyes studied his face as his eyes did the same, then her eyes fell on his mouth as his breath tickled the skin on her lips, her heart starting to race again. He stared at her, his breathing deep and even as he felt her body relaxing, then the tension left him too. Their faces were inches away, their breaths tickling their lips as he felt her hand moving up, slowly and hesitantly, as if she was afraid of doing so. Her palm rested on his cheek now and he felt her cold and shaking hands, his heart suddenly calming as he felt her touch. She scolded herself for doing so, but she had to feel the soft skin on his face, then she felt him readjusting as he brought his hand up to her cheek. Her eyes locked with his then, feeling his soft hand on her cheek caused her heart to beat even faster, her mind directed only at him. He blinked rapidly at her as he slowly and hesitantly lowered his face towards hers. Her eyes widened, her heart skipping a beat as she saw his face slowly nearing hers. _Maker, what is he doing? Is he..? _Then he kissed her, and it was like he brought her back to life. Her eyes fell shut, her hand falling down from his face to his chest as she finally gave in. She just hadn't the strength to fight him anymore, she just couldn't fight her feelings for him anymore as she melted into him. His hand cupped her face as he felt her body melting into him, and he just couldn't help but feel aroused. He craved for her kiss, her touch and her warmth, he didn't care about anything right now. Then his kiss grew more demanding and she couldn't help but moan, he caught her moan with his mouth and he used the moment to shove his tongue inside her. She moaned again and she couldn't ignore the desire rising in her belly, and between her legs. She lifted her hips and sat down on his lap where she could feel his pulsing bulge in his pants making her even more hot. She broke the kiss and started to kiss his jaw and his neck, his eyes snapped open as he realized what was happening right now.

"Hawke...Maker Hawke please stop." She heeded him and broke her intoxicating kisses, her chest heaving up and down as she realized what she was doing to him. She placed her hand on her mouth as panic overwhelmed her, she felt disgusted of herself. She stood up from his lap and walked away, her heart threatening to explode.

"Sebastian I am so sorry!" He hastily stood up and walked towards her, panic overwhelming him as well as he grabbed her wrist.

"No Hawke, please don't say you're sorry." Then she turned to him and he saw that she was crying again.

"No, I am harassing you again, and tomorrow you will regret it and leave me again and...and then you'll avoid me and...and..." He took her wrists to steady her as she desperately tried to shake his grip away.

"Let me go!"

"No Hawke listen to me, please!" Her eyes widened as she heard the pleading tone in his voice, and she couldn't help but stare at him as her body calmed in his hands. He felt her relax as he guided them back to the couch, her heart hammering in her chest like never before. He still held her hand in his and stared at it as he took a deep breath to settle his mind. He was worried and...tired, he couldn't run away from her anymore so he decided to listen to his heart, and to completely ignore his scolding mind.

"We have to talk...about everything...no more sorry or regret...just, please hear me out." And she decided to listen to him as she eagerly awaited him to start talking.


	5. Chapter 5

_Maker...my heart is going to explode...why am I so nervous? That's just him, and why is he holding my hand so sweetly and warmly? Why is my heart fluttering like that?_

She sat opposite of him as he held her hand in his, her world spinning around her and her mind not believing that this is real. She was shaking, she was frightened, scared, happy...she couldn't place all the emotions she felt right now. She watched him, his eyes were closed and his jaw tight as she waited for him to start talking.

_Why am I blocking every time I try to talk about my feelings? Maker I love her, but why is it so hard to say? Why can't I just say what I feel?_

He lifted his head and opened his eyes, only to meet hers. His heart skipped a beat as he saw her, her eyes filled with worry and fear, he shook his head a little as he came a little closer to her, her hand still in his.

_I won't block this time...not again..._

"Hawke..." She inhaled sharply as his eyes fell to her hand in his. _Maker he still calls me by my family name?_

"Marian." She said hesitantly, his head snapped up as he looked at her confused and she couldn't help but smile.

"My name...Marian." He nodded weakly to her, knowing that he is the first of her friends to know her name.

"Marian." He whispered, to hear her name leave his lips made her body shuddering. Her eyes fell to the ribbon on his wrist and she decided to ask him why he was wearing it, but after he finished. He swallowed hard, his heart beating unbelievably fast as he looked at their ranked hands, he smiled inwardly as he thought about holding her hand like that every day, for the rest of their lives...

"First, I want to apologize for leaving your side after I used you...I am sorry." She inhaled deeply as she fought to keep her tears away, her hand started to trembled in his and he gently squeezed it before he continued.

"Second, I don't blame you for that night...I don't blame anyone." Her eyes widened at that, her heart beat suddenly returning to normal as she blinked at him.

"But...but I thought you regret that night and-" He put a finger on her mouth to interrupt her, her lips were quivering as he gazed deep into her eyes.

"I am not regretting anything that brought me closer to you. And that night..." He brought her hand from his lap to his chest where she could feel his heartbeat.

"...was the most magnificent night in my life. The only thing I regret is that I walked away from you after we made love." She couldn't help but stare at him as she felt his slow and steady heartbeat. She couldn't believe his words, she felt like she was dreaming and if so, she never wanted to wake up again. She blinked rapidly at him as she found the strength to speak, her voice trembling and low.

"I thought you hated me...I thought...I thought you don't want to see me ever again." He came even closer now and cupped her face, his hands shaking as well as he breathed in deeply.

"Marian..." Their eyes locked then, and she was lost in his gaze. He washed the tears away with his thumbs as he searched for the right word's.

"Marian...I...I..."

_Say it for Maker's sake! Why am I blocking?!_

"I..." She waited for him to finish the sentence, she saw he was having a hard time to tell her, even though she craved to hear it. Suddenly they both heard a knock on the door and they both eyed each other suspiciously as Hawke stood up to open the entry door. Sebastian sat at the couch, his heart screaming at him for not telling her how he felt. Suddenly he heard her talking to someone and he got curious so he stood up and walked to her, and he almost got a heart attack as he saw Anders standing before her, their bodies dangerously close. He came to them and Anders straightened his spine as he saw Sebastian approaching, and he wondered why a Chantry brother is in a ladies house at this hour. He looked back at Hawke who wore a pleading expression on her face, though he didn't know why.

"Hawke...I thought you were alone..." He looked back at Sebastian who crossed his hands in front of his chest, his face stiff and his jaw tight. Hawke glanced over at Sebastian before she turned to Anders, her heart hammering wildly in her chest.

"What do you need Anders?"

_Maker, why are you disturbing us?_

Anders narrowed his eyes at her as he realized that he wasn't wanted, he looked back at Sebastian and saw a smirk slowly appearing on his face. He turned his head back to Hawke as a mean idea came to his mind.

"I came to talk to you...about what happened..." Hawke panicked and she hastily turned to Sebastian who eyed her angrily and suspiciously. She smiled at him, hoping to reassure him that nothing happened between them as she turned back to Anders, she was slowly getting annoyed from him.

"About what?" Anders glanced back at Sebastian then back to Hawke. He hesitated a little, but he wanted to ruin that smirk on the princes face.

"About...the kiss." In that moment, Hawke's heart shattered to pieces. She closed her eyes for a moment as she slowly and hesitantly turned her head towards Sebastian, and her heart fell even more apart as she saw him. His hands were turned to fists at his sides, his eyes wide and all she could see on his face was hurt and...regret.

_He is regretting it again..._

Sebastian closed his eyes to lower his temper as he lowered his head, suddenly it was hard to breathe as he struggled hard not to kill the abomination. He opened his eyes again and saw a small smile on his face as he looked at Hawke until he turned and started to leave.

"I can come tomorrow and-"

"No need. Good night." He barked at Anders as he strode past him, Hawke just stood there unable to move as he walked away from her, slamming the door shut. Her eyes filled with tears as she watched the door, her heart sinking into oblivion. Anders saw the sadness on her face and his heart tightened in his chest, he dared to take a step closer to her until he spoke to her.

"Did I do something?" Hawke averted her eyes at him, suddenly anger engulfed her and she couldn't lower her temper.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" She yelled at him and he just blinked at her, her reaction surprising him completely as he raised his hands in defense.

"Hawke I just-"

"Leave!" He watched her, afraid of her reaction as he stood there, his hands still raised. She saw he was not leaving and she got even angrier.

"LEAVE!" She took the nearby vase and threw it at him, the vase missing him for inches as he started to run for the door. He turned one last time to her as he stood by the door, but he hastily ran out as he saw another vase coming towards him. She cried out loud as the vase missed it's target and then she fell on her knees. She was crying, her mind showing her the picture when Sebastian left her. It broke her heart, and she knew he wasn't going to forgive her that easily, she knew he thought that she slept with Anders and that got her even more furious. After a while she slowly stood up, her entire body shaking with sadness as she made her way to her bedroom. All she wanted was to lie down and forget the evening, although it started wonderfully and if Anders hadn't spoiled it, who knows...maybe he and Hawke would be in bed together right now. She fell down on her bed, her head hurting from her crying as she hoped to sleep, though she doubted that she would be able to.

####

Sebastian walked back to the Chantry, heartbroken and alone. He couldn't believe that she would kiss that abomination, and he couldn't believe that he wanted to throw away anything for her, even his vows so he could start a new life with her, even when she carried another man's child.

_What a fool I am..._

He couldn't fight back his tears anymore as he leaned his back on the cold Chantry wall, slowly falling down on his knees as he scolded himself, his empty eyes staring at the streets.

_That's what you get from listening to your heart...you idiot._

He lifted his head and looked up at the night sky, the moon illuminating his surroundings as his mind grew tired and weary and showing him images of her and that...that abomination. He let out a sharp breath, his heart shattered to pieces as he looked up the Chantry stairs and saw the doors, suddenly he was thinking about his life and his future, he wondered where he would end up; as a Chantry brother or as the Prince of Starkhaven? Would he be alone, with no one to support him? He breathed heavily now, his heart torn to pieces as he slowly stood up, glancing one last time at the Chantry door's before he turned and left. He couldn't enter the Chantry right now, he was sick of this place so he left to drown his sorrows in the Hanged Man, hoping that the ale will help him forget his sorrows, if only for the rest of the night.

He was unarmed and alone, an easy target for mercenaries or bandits, but he didn't care if his life would end right now. It was a low blow from Anders and it hurt extremely, knowing now that she kissed him he wondered another thing.

_What if he is the father?_

His stomach did a turn as he thought about that and without the strength to resist he vomited in the dark alley, the dinner Hawke prepared flowing out of his mouth, as well as his soul. The thought made him sick, his mind showing him images of him, Hawke and their child...he threw up again, his heart sinking into the void. He straightened himself up and breathed in deeply for a few times before he continued his way to the Hanged Man. Later he would find a new place to stay and later, he would go and take his things out of the Chantry. He had to change something in his life...although it pained him hard that she would not be with him...for now.

####

Hawke woke up as she heard someone banging on the entry door, it was so loud that she even heard it in her bedroom. She sat up though she had not the will to stand up from the bed, her heart was torn to pieces. Anders left shortly after Sebastian, after he told her that it meant nothing to him and that he feared that she had fallen for him. _Maker, he thought he's __**that **__handsome? _She stood up and washed up her face before she changed into her finery. She walked down the stairs only to see the Grand Cleric Elthina standing in the foyer, and her heart almost stopped beating. _Why is she here, _Hawke wondered as she descended the last few stairs before she walked over to her, she saw the old woman's troubled face and she feared that something happened.

"Your Grace, what's wrong?" Elthina came even closer to her as she rubbed her hands, she was afraid, scared...

"Lady Hawke, I am sorry to disturb you in such early hours but...something happened, and I need your help." She glanced at Bodahn who was just as confused as Hawke. She pointed her hand to her study but the Grand Cleric shook her head as she took Hawke's hand in hers, she looked away for a while before she stared to speak, her voice shaking.

"Do you, maybe, know where Sebastian is?" Hawke narrowed her eyes at her, she blinked a few times as denial crossed her heart and mind. _No...no he didn't..._

"Isn't he at the Chantry preparing for the Chant?" Elthina shook her head as her hands started to tremble, her eyes wide with fear and shock.

"No, he wasn't at the Chantry the entire night...although..."

"Although what, Your Grace?" Hawke was desperate and Elthina saw how much she was stressed and frightened, she gave Hawke a small reassuring smile although it was to no use before she answered her.

"A guard saw him in the Chantry tonight, though not for long. His room is empty and the guard said he took his things and...left. Lady Hawke..." Hawke looked away, her eyes blinking rapidly as the words slowly hit her head, she remembered the memory of last night, how they almost got back together again if Anders had not arrived. She looked back at the Grand Cleric, her eyes filled with anger towards Anders. Elthina watched her with widened eyes filled with fear before she spoke to Hawke.

"Lady Hawke, maybe you could take your companions and search for him, maybe he is still around Kirkwall. Please-" Hawke raised her hand and interrupted Elthina, her eyes wide with anger as she spoke to her.

"I will go and look for him, Your Grace. I will search the entire Free Marches if I have to." _And then I will spank him so hard that he won't be able to sit for weeks! _Hawke walked past the Grand Cleric, her heart beating wildly in her chest but she wouldn't allow herself to cry. She was strong, and she knew that Sebastian couldn't have gotten far away from Kirkwall, if he left at all. She send Bodahn to call for her friends to meet her at the Hanged Man, but first she had to go to Darktown, she had something to clear with Anders. She took the secret passage that went from her house to his clinic, she was green with anger as she strode through the tunnel. She knew what Sebastian was thinking right now and she knew the reason why he left; _he probably thinks you slept with Anders and that it is his child I am carrying. Mental note, I am going to scream so hard at Sebastian..._she kicked the door to Anders' clinic open, he had a patient on the table so she stopped by the door and crossed her hands in front of her chest, her foot silently tapping on the floor. The patient watched her frightened as her angry and narrowed eyes bored holes into Anders' back. She was so furious, so mad about him that she had a hard time not killing him. The patient was done and he walked away after he thanked him, Anders turned to her with a smile on his face, but his smile died as he saw her angry face. She started to walk towards him and he couldn't help but wonder.

"Hawke why are y-" Her fist connected with his jaw, the hit was so hard that he fell on the ground. He saw star's, he didn't know what was going on as he rubbed his jaw casting a small amount of healing magic on it. Hawke saw the magic and she got even more furious.

"Oh no! Take the beating as a man, you shit!" She grabbed him by his shoulders and lifted him, before her fist connected with his jaw...again, and again he fell to the ground. He saw star's again, and his anger rose as he tried to figure out what was going on. She grabbed his collar and lifted him before she slammed him on the nearby wall, the back of his head hitting the wall hard as he slowly opened his eyes only to see her filled with hatred.

"What-what have I done?" He asked her between his breaths and she slammed him on the wall on the wall again.

"You even dare to ask after you appeared in my home last night and talked about that bloody kiss! IN FRONT OF SEBASTIAN?!" His heart hammered in his chest as he tried to talk out of it.

"Hawke I just wanted to-"

"You wanted to push him away from me!"

"I don't even know why you're mad at me! He is a Chantry brother, he can't even have you!" That sentence snapped something in her and she punched him in his stomach, he leaned forward as pain struck his body until her fist connected with his jaw again. Anders fell to the ground, his hands clenched to his stomach as he tried to breathe, his jaw numb from her beating. She saw blood dropping from his mouth, much to her pleasure as she tried to breathe deeply to calm her mind.

"Get up." He had a hard time standing up but he had to find the strength, lest she would make him stand up. He watched her, his heart hammering in his chest as he breathed deeply, his entire body hurting from her beating. She took a step closer to him and he feared that she would punch him again, but the tension left her body as her eyes glared at him with anger.

"We are going to search for him, take your things, it's possible we won't get home for a few days."

"Hawke-"

"Pray to the Maker that we find him, or I will get really uncomfortable." She turned her back to him as he slowly took his things, she helped him carry his back as they made their way out of Darktown. Hawke slowly started to panic as her mind showed her all the worst possible scenarios, where Sebastian could be lying dead somewhere or that he even made his way to Starkhaven...she shook her head as the tears started to dwell in her eyes, she hoped they would find him and then she would have to explain him a lot of things...including who's child she is carrying.

####

Hawke and Anders entered Varric's room in the Hanged Man and everyone noticed the beaten up Anders, then they looked at Hawke and they noticed her angry posture, and they put two and two together as Fenris couldn't help but comment.

"Finally, he gets what he deserves."

"Shut up!" Anders yelled at him, Fenris wanted to yell back at him but Varric raised his hand to interrupt him. Fenris settled back in his chair as he glared at Anders and he couldn't help but smile. Varric cleared his throat and was pleased that he got everyone's attention before he spoke.

"So, now that everyone is here, there is something I have to tell you." Everyone watched him confused and Hawke felt that this had something to do with Sebastian as Varric eyed her the entire time.

"Choir boy was here last night." Hawke snapped up from her chair as she heard him, her hands slammed on the table.

"What?! Where is he?" He raised his hand again, his face was stiff and Hawke could see a measure of worry on him. She sat back on her chair but her hands were still on the table as Varric continued.

"We talked and we got drunk...well, he got drunk." Hawke narrowed her eyes at him, she didn't believe what he told her as she lowered her head.

"Sebastian doesn't drink, his vows don't permit him to drink." Varric watched her, his face still stiff with worry and Hawke couldn't shake the feeling that he knows something.

"Anyway, he was in a pretty rough state. He was troubled so I invited him for a drink and then we talked and...what he told me really...annoyed and shocked me." Everyone stared back at Varric, except Hawke, she guessed what he could've told Varric. He leaned his hands on the table as he folded his hands under his chin before he continued, his face even more stiff then before.

"Hawke...I think it's time you tell us who the father of your little baby is." Hawke tensed as all eyes in the room fell on her, she felt like a black sheep at that moment, _well, I deserve that._ She lifted her head and blinked rapidly to fight back her tears as she stared at the ceiling, her heart racing in her chest before she spoke.

"What did he told you?" Varric took a deep breath before he answered her, the tension growing in the room.

"He told me it's from Anders." Her head snapped back at him, her eyes wide with disbelief as everyone stared at her.

"WHAT? NO! It's not from Anders. Anders kissed me, it was a slip and that's why he came to me last night, to apologize, but Sebastian got it wrong and now he thinks..." She silenced, she couldn't finish the sentence, her heart tightened in her chest as she fought the urge to cry. She lowered her head before she spoke again, her voice filled with shame.

"It's not Anders' child..." Everyone watched her in silence before Aveline broke it.

"Then who's is it?" Hawke look at the table before her, _they await your answer Hawke, don't be a coward._ She closed her eyes as she swallowed the big lump down her throat, she knew she had to tell them.

"It's...it's..." She lowered her head again as she took a deep breath. _It's now or never, Hawke._

"It's Sebastian's child..."

**Notes:**

Thanks to CaptainRocket for alerting me for the paragraph issue. I really appreciate it. If anyone sees any other errors feel free to pm me so I can fix them. Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to read and follow the story.


	6. Chapter 6

Hawke sat on her chair in the Hanged Man, not believing what she said aloud a few moments ago. She lifted her eyes and looked at them under her eyelashes, and all she could see was their stunned and confused faces, their open mouths and their wide eyes. Isabella cleared her throat, unable to close her mouth before she spoke.

"Wait...you want to tell us that...that Sebastian slept with you, and that...that he pumped you?" Hawke sat up from her chair, clearly offended by Isabella's words as she barked at her.

"Isabella!" Then she thought about it, and she was right...sort of. She settled back in her chair as she shook her head.

"Yes..." She admitted although a little hurt, Isabella couldn't help but be mad at her.

"And you kept it a secret? From me?" Isabella shook her head as she emptied her mug before she continued.

"I am really disappointed from you Hawke. I thought we shared our secrets..." Hawke eyed her angrily as she wanted to yell at her, but Varric was faster and he spoke before she did.

"I think that Hawke had a reason for hiding it from us, right Hawke?" Everyone looked back at her and she started explaining why she hid it from them.

"I hid it because I thought you couldn't hold it a secret and you would unintentionally blabber it out in front of him. I just couldn't risk it." Fenris shook his head.

"We are your friends Hawke. You still should've told us." She lowered her head again as shame and guilt overwhelmed her.

"I know, and I am sorry. I didn't want to disappoint you." Then she lifted her head again, a pleading look on her face before she spoke to them.

"But please, let's go and try to find him." She stood up but Varric shook his head.

"No Hawke." He simply said, as if he said a good morning to someone. Everyone eyed Varric, confused as to what is going on here. Hawke came closer to him, her eyes narrowed as she spoke to him.

"What do you mean with 'no Hawke'? We have to find him!" She turned and started to leave but Varric's loud voice stopped her as she was just about leaving the room.

"He doesn't want to be found Hawke!" She stopped, the words struck her heart. She lowered her head as the tears started to dwell up in her eyes again, slowly she turned back to them, her heart sinking I to oblivion.

"What?" Was the only thing she managed to say to him, Varric watched his friend, it hurt him to see his favorite hero hurt like that.

"He said he didn't want to be disturbed. He said he needs time for himself, and I somehow understand him." Hawke fell back into her chair, she still couldn't believe Varric's words. _So he left me...us, then?_

"Why does he need to be alone? And for how long, Varric, for how long?!" She cried, her face hidden with her hair as everyone wanted to say something to ease her suffering, though they didn't know what to say to her.

"He has some very important decisions to make, and he asked us to trust him and that he will return as soon as possible."

"So he left? He left Kirkwall?" The words chocked her, she had a hard time to breathe. Anders placed his hand on her shoulder in hope to comfort her, but she just shoved his hand away as her angry eyes glared at him.

"Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me!" Anders eyed her angrily before he stood up, his hands fisted.

"You are blaming ME because he left?!" Then Hawke stood up as well, her face close to his as she barked at him.

"I am blaming you because you are bloody selfish! You saw he and I were alone yet you pressed the matter on! And then when he strode past you...do you think I didn't see your victorious smile?!" Aveline walked behind Hawke and grabbed her hands to prevent her to launch on Anders. Varric shook his head as he refilled his and Isabella's mug.

"That's low, even for you Blondie." Anders looked at him in disbelief, everyone was against him as he saw their flaring eyes on him.

"How am I supposed to know that something is going on between them?!"

"It's usually like that when a man and a woman are alone!" Isabella yelled at him, he wanted to protest but whatever he wanted to say died as he saw how sad Hawke is, how hurt she was as her sad eyes stared at him, and his heart tightened in his chest. Hawke hugged her waist as she slowly turned her body away from Anders, he could see the rejection on her face.

"I am sorry, Hawke. I really am..." Then she turned to him with a small smile on her face as her eyes glowed from the candle light, and from her unshed tears.

"It's a little too late for that, don't you think?" Then she turned and started to leave the room, Aveline ran to her as panic overwhelmed her.

"Hawke..."

"Please, I need to be alone for a while." She turned and started to leave again but Aveline was persistent.

"Then let me at least walk you home." Hawke nodded weakly to her as they made their way out of Varric's room. Everyone watched them leave, Merril emptied her mug before she spoke.

"Poor Hawke, she really likes Sebastian a lot."

"Seems so, Daisy." Merril lifted her head and looked at Varric, something bothered her though...

"But why hasn't she told him that he is the father? I mean they like each other and I am sure that Sebastian would like to be father." Isabella refilled Merril's mug before she answered her.

"It's a little complicated, kitten. You can't just tell someone that he is the father of your child."

"Why not?" Merril asked her, her green eyes wide with confusion, everyone rolled their eyes in annoyance and Isabella leaned closer to Merril in hope she could explain it to her.

"You have to be sure that the one whose child you carry loves you, that he would want to raise your child with you. Hawke and nobody knows if Sebastian loves her so she couldn't just blabber it out to him without knowing for sure."

"Oh...I thought he loves her...but why did he ran away then? Was he jealous?" Isabella nodded to her and Merril couldn't help but feel victorious.

"It's seems that our Choir boy is extremely jealous...at Anders no less." Anders head snapped up as he saw the smirk on the pirates face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He yelled at her from across the table and Varric couldn't help but giggle as Isabella countered him.

"Well, I would've understood that Sebastian is jealous of Fenris...but you? You are like a really cute kitten who just barks a lot, and no one is mad at you barking at everyone because you are so cute." Varric burst into laughter and Fenris gave her a smirk that somehow made the pirate even more interested in Fenris' 'equipment'. Anders blushed, the comparison with him to a kitten hurt him. He stood up and walked through the doors as Varric stopped laughing and started to yell at him.

"Hey, Blondie wait! It was just a joke!" He started laughing again as Anders yelled from downstairs.

"And a lame one at that!" Varric turned to Isabella with a wide smile on his face as he raised his mug towards the pirate.

"To our Rivaini, for making Blondie angry at us." Isabella lifted her own mug before they both drank it. Merril watched them confused as she shook her head.

"I thought kittens are cute, but Anders isn't cute." Varric and Isabella eyed each other before they burst into laughter, Merril was even more confused now as she lowered her head, her cheeks blushing in a fiery red.

"Oh, did I miss something dirty again?" All of them laughed, except poor Merril.

####

Hawke entered her mansion, it was noon and she forgot to report to the Grand Cleric that they didn't find Sebastian, but then she stopped just as she wanted to leave again as a thought crossed her mind; _what am I going to tell her? That he needs time to think or that I am pregnant and carrying his child? No. _She turned and walked back into her mansion, the rough day and the baby tiring her. She was sad, yes, but she also trusted Sebastian, he was a man of his word and she knew he would come back. The only question was _when _he would come back, and that made her even sadder. _Will he come until I am still pregnant, or will he arrive later?_

Hawke entered her bedroom and fell down on her bed, her face buried in the bed sheets as her mind wandered off. She was thinking about Sebastian and she wondered if she should have told him about the baby, that he is the father. _Everything would be different now, maybe we would already be on our way to Starkhaven, or he would push me even farther away and not believe that it his child. Oh Marian what have you done again? _She hit her head in the bed, over and over as she scolded herself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid...all you do is stupid, at least in your personal life._ Suddenly a knock on her door startled her and she almost fell off the bed as she sat up.

"Yes?" The door opened a little only to reveal Bodahn peaking through the gap.

"My Lady, a letter just arrived for you, though it doesn't say from whom. The courier wouldn't say and he left immediately." Hawke showed him he could come inside, Bodahn slowly and hesitantly entered her chambers, he gave her the letter and left her alone, and her heart skipped a beat as she read the inscription.

_To Marian._

She hastily opened the letter, her heart hammering in her chest as she started to read it, the handwriting suddenly familiar...

_Marian,_

_I ask for nothing more than your trust. I need some time for myself, but I am sure Varric already told you. I am fine, I will come back to all of you when I feel ready to do so, and when I can bring myself to look into your eyes again. There are many things that bother me and that we have to discuss, but not through the letters. We will discuss it when I come back, then we will sit down and talk...there will be no secrets between us anymore, and no one will disturb us. Again, I am fine so you don't need to worry, if you worry at all._

_Sincerely,_

_Your dear friend Sebastian._

Marian closed the letter, hurt, sad and angry. _How dare he think that I am not worried for him? He is such an idiot!_ Hawke paced her room, the letter held tight in her hand. _He is my friend?! We slept together you idiot! _She screamed through the room and Bodahn burst into the room, afraid that something happened to her, but he hastily left as he saw her pacing angry through her room. She was angry again, and he didn't want to be the one who will feel her anger.

Hawke sat down on the bed as Bodahn left, her heart sinking into oblivion as she thought about the letter. She took the letter and she read it, again and again, his words slowly making sense to her._ He needs courage to look into my eyes again...but why? Why is he ashamed? I am the one to blame for everything, especially the thing with Anders...Maker why did it have to be this way? _She came to the window and looked up the sky, the tears slowly falling down her face as she thought about Sebastian. She never admitted to herself that she already loved him, that she is already fallen for him. She smiled, she couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same. She leaned her body on the wall next to the window, her head still staring up in the sky. _Where are you, Sebastian? Come back to me, as soon as possible...please. _

She closed her eyes and lowered her head as two tears made its way down her face. She was sad, and now she would have to wait for him to arrive. She just prayed that it wouldn't take that long, lest she would go and search for him.

####

Five months later...

Hawke was sitting in her study reading a book and sipping her tea. She was still the Champion of Kirkwall but everyone knew she was pregnant so they gave her some time out from the political struggles. Even Meredith softened with her measures against the blood mages and mages, and for the first time Hawke wondered that she truly had a heart. She thought about many things, but the thing that bothered her most, was Sebastian.

He still didn't return and it worried her, he sent a few letters to Varric though, which said that he is well and that he is on the road to recovery. Hawke thought much about him, her heart filled with grief and sadness every time she thought about the night he left. She was still mad at Anders, she barely talked with him because he is the reason Sebastian left in the first place.

She shook her head, her mind filled with every possible thought of Sebastian and her, and their one night stand. She didn't knew it before but she loved him, she craved for him, he made her feel like she never felt before. She was never in love before, but she was certain that she is now because every time she thought of him her belly did a flip, her heart would beat faster and her breathing would speed up a little. She blushed almost every time his blue eyes fell on hers, she giggled almost every time he made her a compliment, and she wanted nothing more than him and their child. She was in deep thought but a knock on her door to her study startled her. She stood up and walked to the doors, she opened them only to see Varric standing in the doorway.

"Hello Hawke, am I disturbing you?" She stepped aside and smiled as Varric entered her took a seat next to hers and she offered him some tea, but he shook his head and declined.

"You know I don't drink that green stuff Hawke." She walked to her liquor cabinet and took a bottle of ale which she poured into Varric's mug.

"I thought you weren't allowed to have any hard stuff in your house." He teased her a little and she smiled as she sat down on her chair.

"Well I am not drinking it at least." He drank his mug before he answered her, the smirk still on his face as well as his smile.

"Good for you, Hawke. You're officially no drunkard any more."

"Hey, as soon as the baby is out of me I will start again. Then I'll win every drinking contest again." They both laughed, the little teasing a relaxation to the early events. Orsino and Meredith always found a way to argue, but there were no incidents at least. Both stopped laughing as Varric took a deep breath before he spoke.

"So, any news from Choir boy?" The small smile on her face died at the mention of Sebastian, Varric saw how hurt she was and he scolded himself mentally for that.

"Nope, haven't heard a thing." She fell back into her chair, her eyes fixed on the table as Varric spoke.

"Well, that's a month now since we last received a letter from him. I am slowly starting to get worried, Hawke." Varric rubbed his jaw and Hawke got even sadder at that.

"I know, but he asked me to trust him. And even if I wanted to search for him, where should I start? He could be anywhere, he could even be in Kirkwall and we wouldn't know it." Varric nodded to that as he, too, stared at the table.

"I know, I hope he just arrives in time." He referred to their baby and Hawke instinctively placed her hand on her belly as a small smile crossed her face.

"I doubt that, but either way he will see the baby. If he said that he's going to return, then I believe him." Hawke smiled at her own words, she at least hoped he would return.

"That's going to be a true fairy tale." He shook his head and smiled before he emptied his mug.

"What do you mean?" His eyes locked with hers then, a smirk crossing his face.

"The Champion of Kirkwall finds his Prince, they get a child together and together they will rule the two strongest cities in the Free Marches."

"Oh Varric, you have such an imagination!" They both laughed a little as he stood up, Hawke did the same as she watched him, but Varric answered her before she could ask.

"I gotta go, have some things to take care of. You watch yourself Hawke, and if you find out something about Choir boy, let me know." She nodded to him before he walked out of the study, then out of the estate. She sat back in her chair, her mind heavy with worry and concern directed only to Sebastian. She prayed to the Maker every night to return him to her, she prayed that he is safe and sound. She sat up and walked out to her back garden, she wanted to relax a bit in the warm summer day, and she silently wished that he would return as soon as possible, then he would be hers, completely.

**Notes: **

Thanks to my lovely followers **Arialla MacAllister**, **Spoo-da-loo**, **Tgk0224**, **ali7984**, **snedentx** and **yanh**.

And of course to the ones who checked it as favorite;** Tgk0224**, **dawn08**, **mxcalibur **and **snedentx**.

And of course to all the dear readers who take their time to read it. I love you all very much and I hope you keep reading it.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a warm summer day, a little warmer than usual so Hawke decided to take a walk around the Hightown market. She didn't know why but everyone seemed so nice to her...a mercenary attacked her the other day, and everyone (literally everyone) around her came to save her, even the Templars. She wondered if it was because she is pregnant and that no one wanted the babe to get hurt. _Oh well Hawke, don't get used to it. As soon the baby is out in the world everyone will hate you again and Kirkwall will need your help again._

She stopped by a market stall with..._Oh that's so cute, baby socks. She _came to the stall and browsed the baby clothing, the little socks, the little shirts and the little underwear...Hawke was more than thrilled to search for baby clothing. The shop clerk noticed her and realized she was the Champion.

"Champion...how may I serve you?" Hawke wore a wide smile on her face as she took a pair of blue little socks, then she saw a pair of pinky socks and she just had to take them too. The ship clerk smiled at her as he packed the little socks in a lovely small package and handed it over to her.

"Thank you, how much?" Hawke asked him and readied a few silver to pay, but the man shook his head.

"No mi Lady, that's a gift. May the babe be well." Hawke refused to take the package but the man insisted, telling her she should take it as a gift. Hawke yielded and took the small package with the cute little socks, then she made her way to the other stalls with fruits and candies. She realized she wasn't that relaxed in a long time and she somehow missed the troubled times she has gone through with her companions. She smiled, she never would've thought that she would be so happy with a baby, even though it's father is not here...her smile died at the thought of him. _Oh Sebastian where are you? Why don't you return to me?_ Suddenly Hawke didn't have the will to walk around Hightown anymore, so she made her way back home.

She was greeted by Bodahn when she entered and he immediately noticed the sad and worried Champion. He also wished that Sebastian returns so that his mistress is happy again. Hawke walked up the stairs to her bedroom, she was exhausted from today walk and she needed to lie down a bit. She entered and walked towards the bed, she stopped as she saw a yellow flower on her pillow and a letter next to it.

"Bodahn!" Her servant came as fast as he could, he panted for air as he leaned on the doorway.

"Yes my lady?" She turned to him with narrowed eyes.

"Who placed the letter and flower on the bed?" Bodahn stared at the bed in disbelief before he turned his eyes back to Hawke.

"I...I don't know my Lady. No one was here."_ Someone broke in then._ Hawke inspected her room and realized that nothing is stolen. _He only broke in to leave the letter and flower?_ She thought as she made her way to the bed, she sat down and took the letter in her hand, and her heart stopped again as she read the inscription.

_To Marian._

She hastily opened the letter as she recognized the handwriting, her heart hammering in her chest as her eyes darted between the lines and words.

_Tonight. At the empty mansion near Lowtown. You, me, and no one else._

_Trust me._

She recognized the handwriting, but what if someone tried to kill her? What if someone forced him to write the letter? She shook her head, _now you're being ridiculous,_ she thought as a smile crossed her face. She stood up and walked towards her mirror to looked at her reflection, and only one thought crossed her mind.

_Maker am I big!_

She placed her hands on her belly, she couldn't believe how big she became. There was not even a hunch of the old, sexy and toned Hawke. She shook her head as depression overwhelmed her, _oh well, he won't even want to look at you. You're ugly and fat, and he will probably run away the moment he sees you._ Hawke walked to her wardrobe to see if she had any nice dresses for tonight. She would trust him, and she would go to him if he asked for her.

####

Hawke paced her room, and for the first time in months she was nervous; nervous and scared. She received another letter this afternoon which said that a carriage will come for her, that she doesn't need to walk alone in the night, and the letter had the same end as the first this morning._ Trust me._

_I trust you, Sebastian._

She smiled a little, her heart beating fast and her nervousness growing with every passing minute. She couldn't wait to see him, yet she was afraid because she didn't know how he would react when he finds out that he is the father. She stopped then, her heart threatening to explode as she tried to calm herself. _Maker Hawke, it's Sebastian...my Sebastian. _She drew another sharp breath as suddenly Bodahn entered her room, his face stiff with concern.

"The carriage is here, my Lady, but are you sure you want to go?" Hawke turned at the mirror one last time as she thought about her answer. She turned back to Bodahn and smiled.

"Yes. I trust him, Bodahn." She walked past him and went downstairs, her heart beating even more frantic then before. She took a few daggers and hid them all across her body before she walked out. The carriage was neat and it was even decorated with a few flowers. She entered it and then they started to walk to their destination. She was extremely nervous; _what am I going to tell him? What will we talk about? How do I look? _She looked down her body in the dark blue dress, _Maker I am so ugly! Why hadn't he come after I delivered? _She shook her head as she laughed at herself, she was acting like a girl who goes on her first date. _Now now, Hawke. You are an adult as well as Sebastian. You two are just going to talk, that's all. There will be no sex because he has vows...and you are pregnant._

She was in deep thought and she realized that the carriage stopped. She stepped outside and looked at the mansion. She could see a dim light going from the mansion. _No ambush then...pfff, you're lucky Hawke. _She walked to the doors and grabbed the door handle, but she hesitated to open it. _Is this right? Should I go and let the others know?_ She turned and wanted to leave, but a sweet familiar voice stopped her and her heart almost jumped out of her chest.

"Hawke." She froze, her body stilled as her ears and mind slowly recognized the voice, the low and husky brogue that made her shiver every time she heard it. She slowly and hesitantly turned, her heart beating with joy and relief as she looked up to the balcony from where the voice came.

"Sebastian." They watched each other for a moment, both not willing to break the eye contact. She couldn't see him good from that angle, but it seems he hadn't changed at all, he was still Sebastian..._my Prince._

"Why don't you come inside?" He asked her before he turned back into the mansion, leaving a very nervous Hawke behind to follow. She was breathless and speechless, she tried to regain her mind back to normal before she did as he asked. She entered the mansion, it was clean, there was no sign of any mess or indication that the mansion was abandoned. She entered the foyer, a large chandelier decorated the foyer with paintings on the walls and flowers. She looked around and wondered if he was here the entire time, though the paintings kept her fascinated.

"Do you like the paintings?" She turned startled as she heard him, then she saw him descending the stairs and walking towards her. _Maker he is even more handsome then he was before. _She couldn't remove her eyes from him as he came to stand beside her, her heart beating frantically in her chest as she forced her eyes away from him.

"It's...it's nice." The painting showed a small house near the river, in the background was a mountain. It was beautifully captured, the sight was breathtaking. She slowly turned her body towards his before she lifted her head to look at him, a small smile on her face.

"Where have you been?" His smile died as he heard the question, he closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them again and the smile returned to his face.

"All in time, Hawke. Come, I prepared something to eat if you're hungry." He held his elbow out for her, she watched his elbow before she hesitantly ranked her hand with it. He led her to a large room, in the middle was a small round dining table and on it were two plates, two glasses and the dinner he prepared. She had to wonder he managed to make such wonderful dinner. She was hungry just by the sight of the fish soup and meatloaf decorated with salad. He saw her slightly open mouth and he had to smile too, he missed the way she looked like when she was hungry. He came behind her chair and waited for her to sit down, she hesitantly walked to the chair, her heart hammering in her chest as she sat down. He filled her glass with crystal clear water where he filled his glass with vine.

"You can't imagine how much I miss the taste of vine." His smile got wider as he heard her speak, he took a sip from his vine before he spoke.

"This is some vine from Antiva, I think. You can taste a little if you want, it won't harm you." She shook her head as her eyes mentally drank the vine from his glass.

"Oh no, if I start I don't think I will be able to stop." They both laughed a little before they started to eat. The dinner progressed in silence, both looking at one another from time to time, then when their eyes would meet they would smile and start eating again. It was rather uncomfortable to be silent when there where so many questions to ask and so many things to explain. She wanted to know where he was the entire time, she just had time know it.

Hawke finished with her dinner and fell back into her chair, her eyes darted around the room and inspected it. Sebastian watched her from under his eyelashes, his fork playing with his food as many questions rose in his mind, but she also had a right to know where he was and why he left. He glanced at her belly and from the sight he could tell that she had maybe two weeks until she delivers. He glanced back at his untouched food, his heart torn between love and hate. _Is Anders the father? If so, what am I doing here? _He closed his eyes for a moment as he fell back into the chair, his hands folded under his chin. Hawke saw he was troubled so she decided to start talking.

"Sebastian..." Then he stood up and walked towards her before he reached his hand out for her. She watched his hand for a while before she took it, he lifted her from the chair and led her up the stairs. Hawke watched him confused, her heart hammering in her chest as she tried to speak, but the words just wouldn't come out. They came upstairs and Hawke wondered where he was taking her, but again she trusted him without any second thoughts. They entered a room and he led her towards the large balcony door, he grabbed the door handle and opened the door. They walked out to the large balcony as he led her to the nearby couch. He pointed her to sit down and she hesitates before she did so. He sat next to her and watched the sky before he spoke.

"You can ask me anything Hawke, and I will answer you." She blinked at him, his words making her confused. _Why is he dragging me out to the balcony to talk? _Hawke looked up at the sky as well as she thought about a suitable question.

"How are you?" His head snapped to her, clearly he hadn't awaited such a question from her, but still he was happy to know that at someone cared.

"Fine...how are you?" Hawke looked back at him and smiled.

"As you can see I am bloated." They both burst into laughter and both realized they missed each others laugh. They stopped laughing until their eyes met, his eyes gazing deep into hers and again she felt her body melting from his gaze. Their smile was gone, their happy eyes replaced with something else, Hawke could feel the heat between her legs growing as she cleared her throat to speak.

"Where have you been?" He took a deep breath before he answered her.

"Starkhaven." Her eyes widened at that, her heart skipping a beat.

"You were in Starkhaven? Why?" He took another deep breath before he answered her, his hand leaned on the couch behind her shoulder.

"I wanted to see how people are taken care of under the reign of my brother...and I needed time...for myself. I needed to make some decisions that couldn't be ignored anymore." She looked away from him, her mind worried as she spoke in a low and trembling voice.

"And? What have you decided?" He took her hand in his and brought it to his lap, his eyes were looking at their hands as he spoke.

"I have decided to...take my rightful place on the throne. I will leave as soon as the situation in Kirkwall gets better." That answer hurt her._ He is going to leave me...again._ He lifted his eyes to meet hers only to see the hurt on her face. He squeezed her hand a little causing her to look back at him.

"I won't leave so soon." She looked away from him, the moon illuminating the city and balcony.

"Yes...but you **will **leave. But I am happy for you though, at last you made a decision." _It's no use to tell him that he is the father of your child._ She stood up and tried to leaved but his grip on her hand tightened and prevented her to leave.

"Marian." Her body stilled at the sound of her name from his lips, and she couldn't ignore the rush of desire through her body. She avoided his gaze though as she turned back to him.

"Please sit down, we are not done yet." Then her eyes met his again. _Maker what's wrong with me? Why can't I disobey him? _She sat back, her head turned away from him as he started to speak again.

"Marian...I am going to ask you some questions, but I want you to answer them honestly." She just managed to nod as she felt a hint as to what he could ask. He waited a while before he took a deep breath.

"Marian...do you know the father of the child? Do you know who he is?" She just managed to nod as the lump in her throat grew bigger. He saw her struggles but he had to ask her, he had to get this doubt out from his heart before he could admit his feelings for her and his plans for them. His heart hammered in his chest, he could feel her hand starting to tremble as he looked at her. She still looked away from him as he saw tears forming in her eyes, he gently squeezed her hand before he swallowed hard so he could speak.

"Marian..." He swallowed again, he knew that his entire life could change within the next moments, and he would have to make another important decisions. He took a deep breath as he came a littler closer to her but still she avoided his gaze, instead she looked at the ribbon on his right wrist and she smiled. _I have to ask him why he wears it,_ she slowly lifted her head only to be greeted by his intense gaze. Her heart froze, her body stilled, and she already knew his question without hearing him asking her.

"Marian...am I the father of...of your child?" Tears slowly started to fall down her face, her body frozen as she prayed to the Maker to open the ground underneath her to swallow her. She swallowed hard, her vision blurred from her tears as she struggled to tell him. _Oh Hawke, how will you get out of THIS?_


	8. Chapter 8

_Am I the father of your child?_

The question rang in her head, again and again as she looked at him, shocked and unable to look away, unable to speak. Her eyes blinked rapidly at him as she tried to find the words to say just anything, but the words wouldn't come out. His gaze pinned her, she was trapped within it, as well by his strong, warm hand. Suddenly it was hard to breathe, hard to think...she swallowed hard as she found the strength to speak.

"What?" She couldn't say anything else, this world wad barely spoken in a whisper. He watched her as he let out a long breath, the breath he was holding after he asked her the question. He closed his eyes for a moment to gather his mind, to calm his racing heart. He opened them and fixed them on her again, he cleared his throat to speak, he had to know the truth.

"Marian, I remember that you started to throw up right after the night we slept together, but I need to hear it. I need to know if...if am its father." She looked away from him as more tears made their way down her face, her heart almost breaking at the pleading tone in his voice. _He has a right to know, Hawke. Its his child as well as yours, but Maker why is it so hard to say, and why am I feeling this immense pain going from-_

Her thoughts were interrupted by her scream, and Sebastian almost fell off the couch as she started to scream, again and again.

"Marian are you alright?!" She looked up at him, her face stiff with pain as her hand grabbed his collar and brought him closer to her.

"Go...and get everyone...I am...aaaaaa!" Then he looked down on the floor and saw a puddle of water flooding under her. He panicked, he ran out of the balcony to tell the courier to get Varric and the others here and to find a midwife on the way. Sebastian returned to her, he took her hands and slowly he lifted her from the couch, he led her out of the balcony and into the bedroom. She screamed again as her hands were pressed on her belly. He lowered her on the bed and started to remove her shoes, then he came up to her and started to ease the laces that held her dress, Hawke eyed him angrily as she grabbed his wrist to stop him, _Maker her grip is still hard even in this state._

"I won't undress you, I want to make it more comfortable." She screamed at him again, and her grip painfully tightened on his wrist. He managed to lower her back on the bed and she spread her legs as he sat next to her, holding her hand tight in his.

"Okay...breathe Hawke. Try to breathe." They both breathed the same, her pain decreasing a little before she screamed again. _Maker why am I screaming like this? I was in the mouth of a High Dragon and I didn't scream at all!_ She tried to breathe evenly to lower the pain even for a little.

"Where in the Void is ANDERS?!" Sebastian eyed her angrily as his grip on her hand lessened.

"You want **him **todeliver your child?!" Hawke eyed him angrily as her grip tightened even more, and he had to focus not to scream.

"Are you arguing with me about that matter NOW? Do you know how to deliver?!" He shook his head as an answer, and she smiled bitterly at him.

"Then SHUT UP! I am in immense pain Sebastian, don't make me kill you! AAAAA!" Then the door burst open only to reveal her friends in the doorway. Varric stood there shocked, his mouth agape, Fenris ran out of the room, Aveline, Isabella and Merril came to sit next to her and Anders settled himself between her legs. Sebastian was green with jealousy as he removed her underwear and lifted her dress so he could have a better view of her. Sebastian looked away from him and back to her, her sweat slicked and stiff face. He held her hand tight and he was pleased that she held his too, then their eyes met and his stomach did a flip as he saw her smiling at him. Then pain struck her body again and she screamed, Anders looked up to her his face stiff with worry as he spoke.

"You're not open enough for the baby. I need to adjust it..."Sebastian wanted to ask him but he was too late, he could see Anders' hands doing something to her...her eyes flew wide open and she screamed even more.

"What are you doing?!" Sebastian barked at him, but Anders didn't pay much attention to him, Merril saw the worry on Sebastian's face and she couldn't help but answer.

"He needs to stretch her so she can deliver properly. It has to be done." He looked back at her, his face stiff with worry as he soothed her hair with his free hand.

"You're going to be fine Hawke." Anders readjusted a little before he spoke to her.

"Alright...when I say push, you push, okay?" She looked up at Sebastian, a pleading look on her face as she spoke to him.

"Will you stay with me?" He watched her, his heart beating frantically in his chest as he heard her plea. He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his eyes gazing deep into hers as he soothed her hair.

"Always." She smiled at that, her heart fluttering as she saw the honesty in his eyes.

"Push!" Anders commanded her and she found all the strength she had so she could push. The grip on Sebastian's hand tightened even more, but he didn't care, he would stay here with her, he would be here with her as long as necessary, and even if it wasn't his child-

"Push!" She screamed in pain as she felt something going out from her. Her head fell back in the pillows, her entire body hurting but she was not exhausted. She still had a little strength inside her, she felt Anders hands doing something again before he told her to push again. She pushed as hard as she could, her nails dug deep into Sebastian's hand and she was sure that would make some scratches on his hand. Anders readjusted a little again before he lifted his head to look at Hawke, then back between her legs.

"Alright Hawke, just one more time and we're done, okay?" Hawke nodded to him as she readied her body for the last push. Sebastian held her hand tight as Anders commanded her again.

"Push!" She did as he told her, and with that the pain was gone. Anders went away with the baby to the washbasin to clean it, the room filled with silence and tension. Sebastian watched him as he held the baby by his legs and spanked his tiny arse a little to make the baby cry. Hawke heard no cry and she lifted her head to look for the baby.

"Anders..why isn't...the baby..?" Sebastian looked back at Anders and saw him casting some magic on it. Sebastian turned back to Hawke and saw she was crying, and his heart broke.

"My baby...I want..."

"Shh Hawke...it's going to be fine..." Sebastian leaned closer to her to soothe her hair, Merril also cried as she went to Anders, and everyone feared for the worst as the baby still didn't cry.

"I WANT MY BABY!" Hawke screamed through the room and Sebastian kissed her forehead as he started to pray to the Maker for the well of their..._her child_. The room was filled with Hawke's cries and Sebastian's heart broke at the sight of her like that. Then, suddenly, they heard the cry of a baby and Hawke started to laugh from happiness. Anders wrapped the crying baby in a towel and came back to the bed, a wide smile on his face as he handed the baby over to her.

"Congratulations Hawke, you have a very healthy and strong little boy." The tears still came down her face, but they were tears of joy and happiness. She cradled the baby close to her chest as Varric and Fenris came closer to the bed. Everyone watched the little being in the Champion's hands and they couldn't help but stare in awe.

"Why is it so little?" Fenris asked and everyone turned to him as Varric answered.

"That's a baby, Broody, and babies are usually like that." Fenris eyed him angrily before he looked back at the baby.

"I know that, but why is this baby so little?"

"Because he came a month too soon." Hawke answered him and tickled the babies nose with her finger.

"Hello little one." The baby grabbed her finger with his small hand, she smiled as she looked at her friends.

"Isn't he cute?" Merril came next to her and giggled before she spoke to the baby.

"Hello, little baby. I am aunt Merril, and I will snuggle and love you as much as your mother because you are the cutest shemlen baby I have ever seen." She tickled his nose with her finger as well and the baby yawned. Isabella stood next to the bed, her arms crossed across her chest and a wide grin on her face as she stared not at the baby, but at Sebastian. Sebastian felt someone's eyes on him and he looked up only to see the pirate staring at him.

"What?" He asked her flatly and everyone turned towards Isabella, and everyone saw the grin on her face. Isabella shifted again before she answered their questioning looks.

"That baby is really cute...but..." She eyed Sebastian again.

"...the baby reminds me of someone..." Hawke's heart skipped a beat as she saw Isabella and everyone else staring at Sebastian. He didn't know what was going on so he turned to Hawke and his look demanded some answer's. Hawke sighed and shook her head before she spoke to her friends.

"People...could you leave Sebastian and me alone?" Sebastian watched her with wide and confused eyes, everyone stood up and took their leave out of the room. They closed the door, Hawke looked at the baby before she opened her dress so she could bring her breast to the foreground, Sebastian blushed hard as he looked away.

"I should leave you." He turned but her voice stopped him.

"Sebastian you already saw me naked so...it doesn't make a difference." She brought the baby to her breast and she started to feed him. Sebastian watched the little baby eat from his mother's breast, and he couldn't ignore the feeling of happiness that overwhelmed him. He watched the baby closely and he wasn't stupid; he saw that the baby had little brown hair similar to his, and he put two and two together. He swallowed hard before he spoke, his heart beating frantically.

"So...i-is he..?" Hawke looked up to him and saw him staring at the baby as he blushed.

"Yes...he is your son..." Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment, his heart filled with both relief and fear. Hawke saw him thinking about something and she feared that he would not believe her, or that he would leave her. She cleared her throat to speak and Sebastian's eyes flew open.

"You don't have to...be with us. If you insist no one will find out that you have a son...I can understand if you want to have your own life and-" He laughed aloud and that interrupted her. She watched him confused as he shook his head, then he stopped laughing and he looked back at her, the smile still on his face

"How could I leave now that I know I have a son?" Her eyes widened even more as she heard him saying that.

"What?" He took her hand in his as he spoke.

"Hawke I...I came here to ask you to come with me to Starkhaven. I wanted to...Maker I wanted to watch over you and the babe if you don't know his father. I wanted-"

"But Sebastian, you have vows. You can't watch over us." He came closer to her and squeezed her hand in his as he locked his eyes with hers, her heart skipped a beat as she saw him watching her with eyes filled with love and happiness.

"Hawke you...you think that I could leave the two of you now?" She blinked at him confused as she tried to figure out what he was trying to say.

"What are you saying Sebastian?" Her heart hammered in her chest, her vision blurred from her tears as she hoped to hear what she longed for so long. He became serious, his heart raving as he tried to find the right words.

"I guess I should finish my sentence that Anders interrupted five months ago." She took a deep breath as she studied the baby in her hand. She looked at the baby for a while before she looked back at Sebastian, and she was even more nervous now.

"First I want to apologize for leaving you after Anders appeared on your doorstep, I acted like an idiot and I am sorry for it. I needed to be alone for a while and to decide what to do with my life." His smile got wider as he looked at her.

"Second, I don't regret our one night stand. This was the most beautiful night in my life." He brought his hand hesitantly to the babies head, Hawke saw his hesitation and she noticed the baby stopped eating. She handed the baby to Sebastian and he looked at her confused.

"Hawke what-"

"Take him. He is your son as well as mine." He watched her for a while, not really sure of what to do. Her smile widened even further as she nodded to him. He hesitantly reached his hands for the baby, he genty took him from her and cradled him to him. Hawke watched them, her heart at ease now that he was with her, and that the baby will have his father. She couldn't stop the tears of joy that fell down her face as she readjusted her dress, closing it up to her neck again.

He snuggled the babies nose, suddenly a small hand reached out to him and grabbed his finger. Sebastian never felt like this before, he felt...he felt like he was the happiest man alive. She saw the baby grabbed his finger and she smiled.

"He did it with my finger too." He looked up at her, then back at the baby. He was never that happy before, and he wanted them around him, forever.

"Hello, my son. I am your daddy." He looked back at her and saw the smile on her face as she watched the baby in his arms, suddenly he didn't felt the hesitation to tell her his true feelings for her.

"Marian...the thing I wanted to tell you five months ago is..." He saw her averting her eyes at his, her smile faded away a little as she saw his serious face. Her heart raced in her chest as he looked down on the baby in his arms, then he looked back at her as the smile returned to his face.

"...is that I love you Marian...I love you." She blinked rapidly at him as the words reached her ears. She felt tears rolling down her face, her heart beating happily in her chest as a wide smile crossed her face.

"What?" She asked with a smile on her face and he smile back at her.

"I love you Marian..." She blinked at him confused, she couldn't believe what he just said to her.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian nodded to her as he came a little closer to her, taking her hand in his a she spoke.

"Marian...I am sure, and I will not hide behind my vows anymore. Tomorrow I will go to Elthina and tell her that I am going for Starkhaven, and that I have to take care of my family."

"Your...family?" He looked back at her.

"Sebastian...what do you plan on doing?" He took a deep breath and looked at the baby in his arms as he spoke.

"Well...I plan to retake back my throne so I can give the two of you the life you deserve." _A life I deserve._ The words kept popping up in her mind as she looked away from him, she felt guilty for forcing him to take care of them. He saw the guilt on her face and squeezed her hand a little.

"You don't have to sacrifice your life for us, Sebastian. I have Orana and Bodahn, they can watch over the baby while I go and work. You can keep your life if you wish." He narrowed his eyes at her as his anger slowly grew.

"What are you talking about? I want to have a home with you and you tell me that I don't have to watch over my love and my son?" Her head snapped back at him, her eyes widened with fear as her panic grew.

"I am just feeling guilty for...for ruining your life." He stared down at the baby and saw it was sleeping. He stood up from the bed and walked towards the other smaller, single bed. He put the baby down and hushed it with a blanket, then he turned and walked back to her. Her heart hammered in her chest as she saw the look on his face, it was the same look he had the night when they slept together. He came to the bed and sat down next to her, she blushed and shook like a little girl. He brought his hand across her shoulders and half hugged her, and she blushed even more, her heart threatened to explode. He felt she was shaking and he took her other hand in his before he spoke.

"I guess we need to get used to each other...right?" She looked up at him, their faces very close now as she stared into his eyes.

"I guess...but what about you?" He brought his hand up to her face and leaned his palm on her cheek, she knew she was red in her face but she didn't care.

"I want this..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes...only if you'll have me." She smiled at him and placed her hand on his.

"Of course I want you...daft man." They both laughed a little, suddenly they both realized just how close their faces really are. The smile on their faces died, their lips partially open as they stared at one anothers lips. He slowly and hesitantly lowered his head towards hers, he couldn't ignore the wild beating of his heart and the rush of ecstasy going through his body anymore. He closed his eyes and she closed hers until finally, their lips met. Their kiss was long and deep and passionate, both trembling from the feeling of kissing each other again. He broke the kiss and stared into her eyes again, his world spun around him like never before, and he never felt like this before.

"Hawke...Marian...I want you to come to Starkhaven with me..."

"Sebastian..."

"Marian you have nothing here in Kirkwall, except sadness and death. Please, let me give you and our son a home you both well deserve. I want it..." She blushed and blinked at him, she heard the plea and honesty in his voice but she couldn't just leave..._or could I?_

"But what about Kirkwall? And what about our friends?" Sebastian smiled at that as he cupped her face with both of his hands, she felt his hands shaking a little as he spoke.

"They can come with us...even Anders. They can all come to Starkhaven and I will give them a home too, only if it means you'll come with me Marian. Please..." She watched him, but still she couldn't say yes.

"Can I at least...sleep over it?" She saw the disappointment on his face but he tried to hide it with a weak smile.

"Of course. I guess you are tired then. I'll let you sleep..." He stood up and wanted to leave but her voice stopped him.

"You can...share the bed with me. I mean I'm not capable to...you know, but we can cuddle at least." He watched her confused for a while until a smile crossed his face. He came back to her and lied down, she hesitated a little to come closer to him, but then she felt his protective arms around her and she melted into his body. They were hugging each other, both relishing the intimacy as the weariness and exhaustion grew in her body.

"Sebastian?"

"Hmm?" She hid her face in his chest as he stared down at her.

"I love you too." He smiled at that, though she hid her face he was still happy to hear those words from her. He snuggled his chin on the top of her head and smiled as he closed his eyes.

"Good night Marian."

"Good night." Then they both drifted into sleep, both happy and content for each others presence. Tomorrow they would decide if they would leave for Starkhaven, but right now, nothing mattered to them then their love and their newborn child.

**Notes:**

Thank you so much for reading the story so far. I hope you enjoy the fluff (I know I do lol). Anyway the story is nearing it's end, so stay sharp!


	9. Chapter 9

A BIG thank you to **Aquamonkey** for helping me with this chapter. Your amazing and I love you sweety. Read her stories, she writes amazing things and it's worth to stop by and read them!

Hawke woke up, tired, exhausted and sore, her entire body was screaming at her to lie back down on the bed, but she had to sat up. The room was empty, neither Sebastian or the baby were here. Then she panicked;_ what if he left? Maker he took my-_

"Marian? You awake?" She heard someone calling her from the door but she was too shocked to answer. Then the door opened and her heart was at ease when she saw Sebastian with the baby entering the room. He was smiling at her, but his smile was replaced with worry as he saw her crying.

"Marian, what happened?" He closed the distance between them and sat down on the bed next to her. She reached out for the baby and he gave him to her, she was still crying as she spoke to him.

"I thought you left...with the baby." He placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, and she smiled as she felt his warm hand.

"Marian the baby woke up and started to cry, so I took him and went downstairs. Our friends were there so they played with him a little." Then he placed his hand on her face and she locked her eyes with his, and all she could see in them was love and joy.

"I could never leave you Marian. Don't even think about it." Then he leaned towards her and kissed her forehead, she closed her eyes to enjoy his warmth, his love. He broke the kiss and leaned away from her as he stared down at the baby.

"He cried when he woke up, then he woke me up. I was afraid that he would wake you up too, but luckily you kept sleeping like a baby." She smiled at that as she nuzzled the babies head, the baby started crying again and she knew what he wanted.

"You hungry, aren't you little one?" She opened her dress to feed the baby, Sebastian blushed again and again he felt uncomfortable. Marian saw him blushing and she couldn't help but giggle as the baby started to eat.

"I thought you enjoy the view?" She asked with a playful tone in her voice as she bated her eyelashes at him, and he couldn't help but smile.

"I am. I admit though that I am a little jealous at him." She laughed aloud as Sebastian stroked the head of the baby, a wide smile on his face. He hid his curiosity well so far, he wanted to ask her if she decided to go with him or not, but he knew she needed time for herself. He knew she was exhausted and he decided to give her the time she needs to recover. She watched him as he stared at the baby, and she knew he was in deep thought, so she decided to ask him.

"What are you thinking about?" He locked his eyes with hers then, and he couldn't ignore the wild beating of his heart as he saw her staring at him.

"I don't know...about nothing." She smiled then as she placed her hand on his face.

"Sebastian...I know you well. You can't lie to me." She said chuckling to him and he couldn't hold his curiosity any longer.

"Have you...decided anything yet?" Her smile vanished a little, but still she was smiling as she looked down at the baby.

"I'm scared Sebastian."

"Why?" She lifted her head and locked her eyes with his.

"I am afraid to make the wrong decision." He took a deep breath as he thought about what to say to her.

"But what if...you make the wrong decision and you decide not to come with me?"

"So you say that going with you to Starkhaven is the good decision?" She asked him chuckling though he heard also a small amount of annoyance in her voice.

"Is it wrong that a family lives happily together? That I want to give my love the life she and our son deserves?" She blinked rapidly at him, his words struck something in her and she couldn't help but think about her family. She wondered then...

"You say you love me...but is it only temporarily, or will you love me forever?" She saw the pain on his face and she knew her words struck him hard but she had to know.

"Marian..." He was stunned, the words hurt him a lot but he partly knew why she asked him.

"I need to know because I couldn't bare to lose your love after a few happy years. Please Sebastian, are you sure about your feelings for me, or is it just because you feel a responsibility for me and our son?" He was shocked and hurt, but he also understood her. He cupped her face and leaned his forehead on hers, he was careful not to crush the baby between them as he breathed in her scent. She closed her eyes to enjoy his warmth and love, then he spoke to her with a calm and lovely voice.

"Marian...I won't hide behind my vows any longer. I am yours, and I will love you til there is still air in my lungs. I had a hard time deciding what I wanted to do with my life, but then a miracle happened, and I got the most astonishing sign the Maker can give to someone." He leaned away a little but still they were close to one another. Marian could smell the scent of wood and incense on him and she wondered why.

"You went to the Chantry this morning?" He was surprised that she knew and he lowered his head, he was a little ashamed that she looked right through him.

"Yes, I'm sorry for not telling you."

"You spoke with Elthina then?" He nodded to her as she readjusted the baby a little.

"And? Is she disappointed?" He looked back at her and smiled.

"No, she is happy that I made a decision. I even invited her here, she wanted to see you and the baby." He saw the surprise on her face and he was afraid that she was mad at him now.

"If you don't want to see her I can tell her that you are exhausted and-"

"I am happy to see her." Hawke smiled back at him and he was happy that she is alright with that. Hawke knew how much Elthina meant to him and she couldn't deny him that she sees his son. They were both silent and both watched the baby eat, they enjoyed the calmness and the presence of one another. Hawke slowly lifted her head to look at him, and she smiled as she saw how he watched the baby.

"Sebastian?"

"Hmm?" He locked his eyes with hers and saw the shy smile and her rosy cheeks, and he couldn't help but smile too.

"How would you leave your old life behind? If you were in my position?" He watched her silently as he thought about an answer.

"You can't leave your life as Champion behind?" His voice was filled with understanding and love, and she was happy that he understood her.

"It's not that I have anything that binds me to the city, but I am unsure of what will happen to the people here." He smiled then, he took her hand in his and squeezed it a little.

"How about...we go to Starkhaven, I secure my throne and if you don't like it there, we can come back here as soon as you claimed the Viscounts seat. Then I will lead Starkhaven from here. Does that make you comfortable?" Her wide eyes stared at him, she couldn't believe what he suggested.

"And you would be alright with that?"

"Why not? Home is with you and our son. It doesn't matter where we live as long as the two of you are with me." She smiled as happiness overwhelmed her.

"I'm alright with that. We'll leave for Starkhaven as soon as possible." His smile widened, his heart fluttered with joy and excitement and he couldn't help himself but to kiss her. The kiss was surprising but it was wonderful. Sebastian relished in their kiss but suddenly reality hit him and he hastily broke the kiss. He blushed and started to stutter like a little boy.

"I-I am s-sorry for..." She blinked at him, and then she blushed too.

"For what, Sebastian?" He looked back at her, he swallowed as he thought that he offended her with that kiss.

"For the sudden kiss. I shouldn't have kissed you like that." She saw the fear on his face, she saw that he was blaming himself. She took his hand in hers and he locked his eyes with hers then.

"You may kiss me whenever you wish. We just have to...get used to each other, right?" He nodded to her as a small smile appeared on his face. He raised his hand and placed his palm on her cheek, she leaned into his warm and rough hand.

"May I kiss you again?" She chuckled a little as she nodded to him, then she remembered the baby in her arms.

"Oh, wait. I think little one has enough of it." She put the baby on her shoulder and rubbed his upper back in steady motions. She waited for the baby to belch so she could place him down on the bed next to her. The baby burped and they both laughed at the sound of it. She lowered the baby next to her on the bed, a little further away though so she could not crush it. Then she turned to him and blushed even harder as she saw his intense gaze.

"Okay...now you can kiss me." He smiled a little as he hesitantly came closer to her, his heart beating frantically in his chest. Her heart threatened to explode as she saw him cupping her face. He gazed deep into her eyes for a moment before he slowly and hesitantly lowered his head towards her. She blinked rapidly at him as his face came closer and closer, he stopped just an inch away from her lips, her breath tickled the skin on his lips and he could tell from her fast breathing that she wanted the kiss too. He brushed his lips over hers gently, then he pressed his lips harder to hers in a heated kiss. Suddenly he felt her nipping and licking his lower lip, and he gladly opened his mouth for her only to feel her sweet tongue fighting a sweet battle with his.

Their kiss was deep and passionate, and soon it turned into something more desirable and lustful then it was. She grabbed his collar as she fell back on the bed pulling him down with her, their lips never breaking the kiss. He laid above her now, his hands roaming her body as she ran her hands through his hair. He kissed her, deeply and passionately, and soon she started to moan as his hands went lower to her center. Her eyes snapped open and she grabbed his hands, their kiss breaking immediately as they both breathed heavily, their lips only inches away.

"Seb-Sebastian...I can't-"

"I know...Maker I know..." He lifted himself and sat on the bed. His eyes fell to the big bulge in his pants and her eyes widened with lust as she saw his erection hidden in his pants. He placed a hand over his mouth as he looked back at her and he saw what she was staring at.

"You see what you do to me?" His voice was low and husky, and she felt the heat in her hurting and sore core.

"Hmm...I can see that. What are we going to do about it?" She licked her lower lip, and the view together with his celibacy almost undid him. He swallowed hard as his eyes fell to her open dress and partially peaking breast...he prayed to the Maker to give him the strength necessary to resist her, to not fall over her like a hungry animal. He looked away from her in hope to clear his thoughts of her, to lower his erection, suddenly he felt her readjusting behind him. He looked back at her and saw her standing up from the bed.

"What are you doing?" She stood up and took his hand, she smiled at him as she lifted him from the bed.

"The baby is sleeping now. Come, let's get out to the balcony." She led him outside, he couldn't disobey her. She needed fresh air and she needed to stand up from the bed a little, even though her entire body protested. The soft couch was still outside on the balcony and she led him there, he sat down and she next to him. She took his hand in hers and he smiled at her, his every heartbeat filled with happiness. He hesitantly hugged her to him, and he was pleased when he saw that she leaned into his hug, her body fitting perfectly into his.

They enjoyed the silence as they watched the birds on the nearby trees, the warm breeze scattering her scent throughout the balcony. Sebastian closed his eyes to breathe in her scent and to enjoy her warmth, he never thought to end up with her like that... He always thought that she would end up with Anders, or another man. She was his now, and they even had a child...what would a man want more?

"Sebastian?"

""Hmm?" His cheek nuzzled her forehead, his eyes were closed as her hair tickled his nose, she chuckled as she felt him nuzzling against her.

"We have to find a suitable name for our son." His eyes were still closed, a smile appeared on his face as he spoke against her forehead.

"Have you a name?" He ask asked her and she couldn't help but chuckle again as his breath tickled her skin.

"No, but I thought you should give him a name." He opened his eyes then and leaned his face a little away to look at her.

"You sure?"

"Well if it was a girl then I would chose the name, right?" The smile never left her face, and he found it the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He watched her, his eyes studying her face as he thought about a suitable name. He didn't want to name him after his father, and his grandfather had a rather...ridiculous Starkhaven name. He looked away for a while, studying the sky and the birds flying away, the sun high up in the sky, the warm summer breeze scattered the scent of flowers. He smiled then, and he knew how to call him.

"Gabriel." Hawke looked up to him and smiled, batting her eyelashes at him as he looked back to her.

"Gabriel Liam. That's a suitable name...if you're alright with that, of course."

"Hmmm..."Hawke thought about that for a while, she danced her fingers around his chest. He looked down on her, his heart beating wildly in his chest, suddenly a smile appeared on her face and she locked her eyes with his then.

"Gabriel...Liam...Vael..." His heart skipped a beat as he heard his family name. She leaned closer to him, her face inches away from his cheek as she nuzzled her nose to his cheek.

"I like that." He smiled then, he closed his eyes to enjoy her warmth and her soft nose.

"I'm glad you like it..." She chuckled, her eyes fell then to his right hand and he still wore her red ribbon.

"Why are you wearing my ribbon?" He leaned away a little and smiled, he was happy that she asked him though.

"Because..." He took her hand in his and brought it up to his lips to gently brush his lips over knuckles.

"...wearing a red ribbon means that you're taken. That you belong to someone." Her smile faded away then, her eyes wide with excitement and her mouth slightly agape. Then she blinked rapidly at him as she found it hard to believe his statement.

"But you wear it-"

"Since our night together." His smile never left his face as he gently took her chin and forced her eyes to his.

"I wore it always. Isabella knew what it meant and she kept asking me why I wear it, and for who. But I never told her." She was happy, she was never that happy before in her life then at that moment. She took his hand then and brought it to her chest where he could feel her heartbeat.

"Do you feel my heart Sebastian?" He just managed to nod as her eyes drew his breath away, he was enchanted and he couldn't look away.

"It's yours...forever..." She leaned close to him and kissed him. The kiss was something like a seal, a seal that would lock her promise and make it unbreakable. She broke they kiss and looked at him, he was stunned and get couldn't get his eyes from her as a smile appeared on her face. They stared at each other for a while, both happy with their love and each other's presence. Suddenly she stood up still holding his hand, she lifted him and walked them back into the room. She glanced over her shoulder at him before she walked towards the bed where little Gabriel lied. She took him into her arms and looked at Sebastian, she came closer and stopped before him as she smiled.

"Let's get down, our friends must be waiting." He nodded to her and they both made their way down the stairs. They stopped before the door and looked at each other, Hawke was a little nervous but still she wanted to tell them all that she decided. She opened the room and entered only to see all of them playing Diamondback. Their heads turned to her and all forgot the game as they stared at the little baby in her arms. Merrill came first and took the sleeping baby from her, Aveline and Isabella came to Merrill and they looked down at the baby.

"Oh isn't he cute. You were right, Isabella, he does look like Sebastian." Even Fenris came to stare at the baby and he couldn't help but smile at the little being.

"He is...rather cute." Everyone silenced as they heard Fenris saying that. Fenris looked up at everyone as he felt the immense silence in the room, and he couldn't help but blush.

"I, eh...I can be nice." He lowered his head in shame as he blushed even more, Varric couldn't hold his tongue and he had to comment.

"Seems our Broody becomes Softy." Only Isabella laughed at that, and Fenris understood why she laughed and he growled at her.

"I'm not soft!" Isabella stopped laughing as she wiped her tears away. Merrill watched the two of them and she didn't understand a thing...again.

"Fenris is not soft, he is hard and rough. He never shows any mercy." With that said everyone erupted in a laugh and Hawke tried to quiet them because of the sleeping baby, although she had a hard time to stay quiet herself.

"Quiet, quiet! The baby sleeps!" She said between her laughs, somehow everyone stopped laughing loudly. Merrill blushed in a bright pink as she looked down on the baby in her arms.

"I missed something dirty again, didn't I?" She looked up at her friends and saw they stopped laughing, well at least they laughed silently now.

"Would someone explain to me please?" Isabella came to her and leaned close to her ear to whisper, Merrill listened to what Isabella said to her, and as she spoke Merrill turned more and more pink. When Isabella finished Merrill lowered her head again, even more ashamed now that she knew what she said.

"Oh my...I guess I'm sorry Fenris." He let out a frustrated growl as he sat back on his chair. Hawke glanced at the entire room and somehow she felt like she's going to loose them, as if she's abandoning them in the time of their need. Hawke looked at the floor and closed her eyes as the tears started to swell. She took a deep breath and lifted her head to look at them. _You gave a promise to Sebastian...keep it._

"People...I need to talk to you." Everyone watched her as Sebastian brought her a chair, she smiled weakly and sat down, her body grateful for the relaxation. Sebastian saw her pained face, he knew how much hard this is for her and he wished he could talk instead of her, but they were her companions, her friends...she needed to do this.

"As you know, Sebastian and I have our child, and now that I'm mother, I can't run into some crazy battles any longer. I need to watch over myself and over little one..." She paused then, the lump in her throat bigger then she thought it would be. Everyone watched her confused, no one knew where this was heading, only her best friend, Varric, knew what she wanted to say, and that made the lump in his throat even bigger. She took a deep breath, suddenly she felt someone's hands on her shoulders and she turned her head only to see Sebastian behind her, his face sad but also filled with understanding. She turned back to her companions and continued.

"Thus I have to make a few decisions, along with Sebastian." Her voice chocked her, her heart broke at the look of her friends, and she was grateful when she heard Varric saying what she wanted to say.

"You're leaving for Starkhaven?" There was tension in the air, as well as hurt and confusion. Every eye in the room fell on her, everyone was holding their breaths as they waited for an answer. Hawke sighed and lowered her head, she felt Sebastian giving her shoulders a tight squeeze showing her that he is supporting her._ Maker he is so sweet...hope I'm doing the right thing._

"Yes...we're leaving as soon as possible." The silence after that was long and uncomfortable. It was something she wished it would go away, but it just wouldn't. Sebastian felt he had to do something so he swallowed hard to be able to speak.

"Although..." Everyone looked up to him and waited for him to say something.

"...we wish all of you would come with us." Then another long silence, his eyes fell at Aveline as she crossed her arms before her chest, her eyes narrowed and her face stiff with anger.

"We all have a life here. If you don't want to separate her from us, then leave her here!" Hawke's head snapped up at the rudeness of her friend.

"Aveline!" She heard the warning tone in Hawke's voice, but she wouldn't back down now.

"It's true! He takes you away from your life and asks us to follow you! Have you even secured your throne and home yet?" Aveline asked Sebastian harshly, he never got along with her before so it was only a matter of time when he would argue with her.

"No but I'm working on it." She gave a laugh and tossed her hands in the air before her angry eyes glared back at him.

"You work on it? That's all? Where will you live as you work on it?" She was yelling now though no one knew why.

"Hey, Redhead, calm yourself a little. They want to start a new life with family." Isabella tried to calm her a little, but the pirate made her even more angry.

"Yes, a new life, but where? In the middle of nowhere!"

"Aveline!" Hawke screamed again but Aveline didn't heed her and Sebastian started to talk to her.

"What's your problem?" He stopped in front of Hawke and Aveline came right into his face, everyone stood up from their places, they feared the situation would escalate and everyone was ready to stop the fight if necessary.

"My problem is that you didn't know about her pregnancy! My problem is that you used her and then you ran away! My problem is that you were hiding all those months behind the Chantry! And now you want to take her away, to a city where you claim to be prince, yet you haven't even secured the throne!" She yelled at him, suddenly the room was filled with the cry of a baby. Aveline was right in one point, nobody liked the idea of him taking Hawke away, although they knew that Starkhaven would be a better place for her. Hawke sighed and looked over at Merrill.

"Merrill, would you-"

"I'm taking care of him." Merrill left the room with a crying baby in her arms. Sebastian stood silently observing Aveline's face, her words struck him but he wouldn't be intimidated by them.

"I am giving her a life outside this blasted city, where our son won't grow up and see that mages are something bad that needs to be controlled..." Then his voice softened, his blue eyes gazing at everyone in the room.

"I want to give all of you a normal life...and a new life. But it seems that I'm not even welcome to try." Then he turned and stormed out of the room, Hawke watched him leave and her heart broke at the sight as fear overwhelmed her. She somehow stood up from the chair, her entire body sore and in pain. She glared angrily at Aveline and she knew she is going to be scolded now.

"That was my decision Aveline... I want to go to Starkhaven." Aveline's eyes widened with shock and fear.

"Hawke-"

"No, hear me out. All of you!" She closed her eyes for a moment to find the strength to speak, her heart beating frantically.

"I have nothing left in Kirkwall. I have lost my entire family here...I found a new family, but my mama, my father, my brother and my sister are gone!" She opened her eyes and looked at everyone.

"The only good things that happened to me in this city is meeting all of you and that I became mother of a beautiful son! I don't want to live here anymore because this city sickens me!" She started to yell through the room, her heart even more torn apart now then it was before. She hated Kirkwall, but the only thing keeping her here are her friends.

"I'm here because of you! You keep me here! And Sebastian..." She took a deep breath at the mention of his name, her mind screaming at her to go and search for him.

"...he and my son are all I have left. If I lose them... I need to get out of this blasted forsaken city!" Everyone was silent, her words struck theirs heart's. Aveline approached Hawke as she realized what kind of damage she had done.

"Hawke..." She didn't even realize she was crying, everyone's heart tightened as they saw how broken she is.

"I love him...I can't live without him...he is my everything now, and he wants to make me a home...a home I hadn't in years." Aveline hugged her friend, her heart sinking into oblivion too as she realized that this is going to be one of their last conversations.

"I'm going to miss you Hawke...I really am!" Everyone came to them in a large group hug. Hawke cried and shook, her friends were there for her, her second family is here to support her no matter what she decided. She desperately tried to catch everyone with her hands, she wanted them to come with her, but she knew how hard it is to leave.

"I love you all so much!" Hawke's cries filled the room, they broke the hug and Hawke looked and smiled at every one of them. Suddenly Merrill entered the room again, with a sleeping little angel in her arms. Hawke laughed between her cries as Merrill handed her over the baby, she was gazing deep at her baby before she looked up to her friends.

"He deserves a normal life...not here. Not here where I suffered so much." Aveline took Gabriel from her and smiled down at him, her eyes watered and a wide smile on her face.

"What's his name?" Hawke stroked the babies hair and smiled, everyone stood around them and watched the baby.

"Gabriel Liam." Everyone watched her confused, and Varric couldn't help but comment.

"Gabriel Liam Hawke? Well that's...kind of odd." Hawke smiled at him.

"No Varric...it's Gabriel Liam Vael." Every smile died on their faces, everyone shocked with the statement.

"Then you're going to marry each other?" Isabella had to ask as she took little Gabriel from Aveline, she glared angrily at the pirate but softened when she saw just how cute the baby fitted in her arms.

"We haven't talked about it yet..." She lowered her head as if she was ashamed of the statement. Isabella came to her and hugged her, she managed somehow to hide her tears.

"Whenever it happens, I hope we'll be invited." Hawke broke the hug and looked at her pirate friend.

"Of course...all of you are invited." Fenris came to her but avoided here gaze. They weren't always the best friends but still she liked him as a friend.

"Fenris?" He locked his eyes with hers then, he grinned at her and she wondered why.

"I know we never saw eye to eye...but you were the closest friend I ever had." Suddenly he hugged her and Hawke couldn't hide the blush that appeared on her face. _He never hugged anyone before, nor did he let anyone near him...but he feels kind of...nice. _As soon as she hugged him back though he broke the hug, looking away from her and growling. Hawke smiled at him and she approached Merrill, her cute elf. Merrill blushed as she saw Hawke approaching and she lowered her head.

"Hawke..."

"I'll miss you the most Merrill." Then she hugged her, Merrill found it hard not to cry.

"Hawke...you were the best friend I ever had. Please be careful and watch over little one, whenever you leave." Hawke nodded to her and walked past her, towards Anders. Anders avoided her gaze, he was still ashamed of what happened with her and Sebastian because of him, but Hawke couldn't be mad at him.

"Anders, I'm not mad at you anymore." He lifted his head but still he avoided her gaze.

"You are not? I...I never sad I'm sorry Hawke, I really am..." She hugged him, and somehow she was happy that Sebastian wasn't here. He _would be jealous for sure. _Shebroke the hug and looked into his eyes.

"Anders...you're a good man. Please don't let Justice twist your mind." He nodded to her.

"I promise Hawke." Then she walked past him towards her favourite dwarf. She opened her arms as she walked to him, her lower lip quivering as she approached him.

"Varric." Then she fell on her knees and hugged him tight to her. Varric swallowed hard as he hugged her back, he had a hard time not to cry and he hated her, just this once.

"Damn it Hawke. You know I don't like goodbyes..." She nodded to him and broke the hug as she sniffed.

"You're right...this is no goodbye. We'll see each other again."

"Yes Hawke...we'll see each other again. Now go and see Sebastian...he needs you now. But leave little Choir boy here, we'll take care of him." Hawke nodded to him and smiled before she took her leave. She stopped at the doorway and glanced one last time at her friends before she left the room. She didn't know where he would be, but she would go to the bedroom first. Hopefully he would be there, waiting for her. She slowly went up the stairs, one by one, and she made a mental note to lie down on the bed again.

She came to the second floor and approached the door. She took a deep breath before she opened it, and she smiled when she saw Sebastian sitting on the bed, his back turned to her. She silently entered and closed the door, she slowly closed the distance between them. She stood on the other side of bed when she slowly lowered herself on it. Sebastian turned startled, he hadn't expected someone to enter and he hadn't heard her enter the room. He swallowed, he felt guilty for snatching her away from her friends, and he wanted to discuss it with her.

"Marian...we need to talk." She crawled to him, a smile on her face before she sat in front of him. She stroked his face with her palm and he smiled as he felt her touch.

"I know Sebastian...I know." She settled down on the bed and he settled next to her, they started to talk then about all the necessary things and about their decision's. Hours have passed and they still talked, but not about their life. They talked about their past and all that happened to them. Merrill only came up to tell them that they would be downstairs and that they would take care of Gabriel so they could talk. And they were grateful because they really needed to talk...about everything.


	10. Chapter 10

Here were go, the final chapter. I want to thank all my dear and lovely readers for reading and following the story. This chapter is five years in the future from the last one, hope you enjoy it.

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It was as warm summer day, Marian was sitting in the garden that she decorated, with all possible flowers and bushes. She read the book she got from Varric describing her life in Kirkwall, but told from his perspective. She laughed at many parts in the story, especially when he described his view on Sebastian's and her relationship. He wrote even when they have slain the High Dragon, and Varric wouldn't be Varric if he didn't overreacted. He wrote that she killed the High Dragon on a one-on-one match.

She smiled and shook her head as she closed the book. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of the nearby flowers. Suddenly she felt someone hugging her from behind, her eyes opened and she turned her head only to see Sebastian smiling at her.

"What are you doing?" He broke the hug as he asked her, he sat down next to her and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I've been reading Varric's book about our adventures. Maker he makes me laugh." Sebastian kissed the top of her head and smiled as he breathed in her scent. She smiled as she felt his grip tightening around her and she lifted her head a little to look into his eyes.

"You were right Sebastian. Now after five years I can admit it." He watched her confused, he didn't know what she referred to. She chuckled then when she saw that he had no clue.

"About coming to Starkhaven. You promised me paradise..." She glanced at the entire garden pointing with her hand to it before she turned back to him.

"...and you gave me paradise. Not just me, our family." He cupped her face and smiled then, his heart beating faster and happier than never before.

"I would do anything for you and our children, my love." Then he kissed her, and her eyes fell shut as she felt his tongue gliding through her mouth. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him even closer to her. Soon, they forgot where they were and the kiss grew more passionate then before. She stood up still holding his hand as she gave him a wicked smile. He knew what she wanted so he followed her, his desire slowly growing inside his belly.

They entered the castle and walked up the stairs, suddenly they heard someone calling them and they stopped as they both smiled at each other.

"Mommy! Gabliel is mean again!" Their daughter ran to Sebastian and he lifted her in his arms, keeping her away from Gabriel who had a worm on a twig. Sebastian hugged his daughter to him and placed her small head on his shoulder as she cried, scared from the worm. Hawke glared at Gabriel who had a mean smile on his face, but it died as soon as he saw his angry mother.

"Gabriel..." She said with a warning tone in her voice.

"Sorry mother. We played a little..." He lowered the twig and the worm fell on the floor, he lowered his head ashamed that he got caught. Hawke sighed and knelt down before him, placing her hands on Gabriel's shoulders.

"You shouldn't scare your sister like that Gabriel. She is your sister and you should protect her, not scare her." She spoke to him with a reassuring tone in her voice, Gabriel just nodded to her as he lifted the worm from the floor with his fingers. He walked out and threw the twig and worm outside before he came back to his mother and father. Sebastian lowered Celene and rested his hands on her small shoulders as Gabriel stopped before her.

"Sorry sis...won't happen again."

"It betta not, o' I will tell mommy you mean." She sniffed and cleaned her face with her sleeve before she took Gabriel's hand and they both ran outside. Sebastian came next to Hawke and hugged her tight to him, gazing deep into her eyes. Hawke melted away as she felt his hand hugging her waist bringing her even closer to him, before he whispered to her.

"Now...care to continue where we stopped?" She smiled wickedly at him before thay walked up the stairs again. She held his hand as she walked in front of him, he looking at the sway of her seductive hips and her lovely shaped arse. He couldn't get his eyes away from her as they finally made their way to their bedroom. They entered and he shoved her against the door, she tilted her head aside to grant him better access to her neck. She moaned and whimpered as his kisses devoured her neck, he pushed his leg between her thighs and she moaned again as she felt his hardening length pressing against her.

Suddenly he stopped, but she had no time to protest when he lifted her on his shoulder and carried her to their bed. She giggled and tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but he held her firm on his shoulder. Then he tossed her on the bed and she watched him remove his shirt. Her mouth fell open a little as she saw his toned and muscled body, and even after five years she couldn't get enough of the view. He smirked, he saw the look of surprise and lust on her face as he removed his shirt, and he slowly started to strip down hi breeches, then his smalls, leaving him completely naked.

She adjusted on her fours, looking up at him as he walked closer to her, his hard and pulsing member in front of her face now. She flickered out her tongue and licked the tip of him, he shuddered at the feeling of her soft and warm tongue on his member. Then she leaned her head closer and sucked his tip into her mouth, and Sebastian groaned from arousal. He was already trembling under her touch, and if she continues to do this he'll spill himself before he can get to her.

He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back on the bed, her back hit the soft bedsheets and within a second he was above her. He started unbuttoning her dress, she already moaned and whimpered and he was certain that her core was wet and hot from arousal. Moments later they both were naked, both kissing and touching each other. Sebastian couldn't handle her teasing any longer and he roughly pushed his member inside, she screamed a little at the feeling of him filling her. Slowly he started his pace, a dance both knew only too well. She lifted her hips to meet his thrusts halfway, he taking her in slow, long and steady thrusts.

She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him even deeper inside her folds and he heard her fast and uneven breathing, he knew she was very he leaned his entire weight on his arms and his thrusts became faster and harder, every thrust deeper and harder then the last. Sebastian closed his eyes to postpone his release, to hold on as much as possible, but feeling her tight walls gripping him more and more didn't help him. He opened his eyes only to see her staring at him, licking her lower lip and smiling wickedly at him. He knew then she was holding her orgasm, and he lost control. He slammed brutally into her, her eyes fell shut and her screams filled the room as well as Sebastian's groans and moans. It wasn't long when she reached her climax, the wave of relief crashing over her. His climax soon followed, his seed bursting inside her and filling her.

He collapsed next to her, his forehead slightly slicked from the exercise. She kissed a tear of sweat away and smiled at him, she scooped next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder, he half hugging hee to him. He was never this happy before in his life, but now, when he had his family and friends around nothing could go wrong. Sheet chuckled then and hee looked down on her to see her staring at him.

"I love you." She said to him with a slightly playful tone in her voice and he couldn't help but smile.

"I love you too, Marian." She giggled then and promoted her body up on her elbow to look at him, gazing deep into his eyes as she brought one hand to his face.

"I have something to tell you love. I wanted it to be a surprise, but I can't hold it any longer." Sebastian watched her closely, he didn't speak anything and she took a deep breath, a wide smile on her face as she finally spoke.

"I'm pregnant." Sebastian smiled and hugged her tight to him, her giggle muffled by his shoulder, then she looked up at him again and her smile got even wider.

"And the healer says I carry twins!"

"Twins? Maker Marian, you make me so happy love." Then he kissed her passionately and Hawke closed her eyes to enjoy his kiss. He broke the kiss then and leaned his forehead on hers, he felt happy and content.

"I love you Marian, and I'm so happy with you and our children." She giggled then before she kissed him again, she was happy too, and she wouldn't be happier anywhere else. Soon they lost themselves in their pleasure again, both happy that they will become parents again...

...for the third and fourth time now.


End file.
